I found myself lying in bed thinking about things--life and that’s not a good thing. You see, I have a tendency to over think things. Which is why I hate staying awake when I’m trying to go to sleep. I rather hit my head against a brick wall instead. Call me crazy but it beats the heck out of thinking about everything.
Sighing, I sat up in bed, rubbing fiercely at my temples, trying to calm myself down before I go insane.
It’s almost two in the afternoon and I’m exhausted yet sleep won’t overcome me and I have no freaking idea why.
My parents are at work and won’t be back until later on. I’m stuck here floating in my thoughts. That’s not a good combination.
If only I wasn’t grounded. I would have left and gone to Carly’s house or something.
Pulling the blanket off from around my body, I shifted around so that my feet hung from the side of the bed. Looking around, I tried to find something that could take my mind off of things.. But there was no such luck.
My parents took away everything. My TV, computer, iPod, laptop, mp3 player (don’t ask why I still have one because I have no idea why), and my phone.
Yes, they took away my phone just an hour after I snuck back into the house. Which by the way, I ended up doing safely. I didn’t get caught this time. If only I would have been that lucky last time.
So, now, I’m stuck here, at home, bored out of my mind, doing absolutely nothing and thinking about everything.
Dragging myself out of my bed, I headed into the bathroom where I stripped of my clothes, throwing them in the hamper before stepping into the shower where I turned the knobs and let the hot water spray against me.
This felt like sex--excuse the pun.
Pouring the shampoo into the palm of my head I began rubbing at my scalp. I closed my eyes, feeling at an all time high. The best time of the day is when I take a shower because I’m all alone with no interruptions and I can stay as long as I want--well as long as the water can stay hot before turning cold.
Rubbing the bar of soap along my arms and legs, I hummed to a beat of my own tune, bobbing my head mindlessly to the song I made up. Closing my eyes once more, I moved under the water, letting the soap fall from my body and hair.
Moving my arms up and down my skin, I felt myself getting flushed as thoughts of Justin running his hands along my body took over. It was as if he was the one with his hands on me. Biting down on my lip, I moved to rubbing my neck where I imagined Justin placing soft kisses on it.
I softly moaned to myself, the image in my head so vivid as if it were happening… as if it were real.
My eyes snapped open, my mouth agape, my hands freezing in place. I looked around me, noticing I was in the shower, by myself and there was no Justin in sight.
What in the world just happened?
You were having sex thoughts about Justin. The back of my head snapped at me playfully, making me wince.
Cursing myself mentally, I quickly rinsed myself, washing my hair with the conditioner before taking that off too and shutting the water off. Stepping out of the shower, I grabbed a towel, wrapping it around my body.
Walking into my room, I quickly changed into a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt before drying my hair with the towel and throwing it to the side.
Sitting on the edge of my bed, I ran my fingers through my hair, closing my eyes tight.
Did I really just do what I think I did in the shower? I didn’t want to believe it. I couldn’t. I mean.. me? Thinking about Justin.. In that way? I couldn’t picture it.