Did I just practically have sex with Justin Bieber?
I think I just did and I don’t know what to do with myself.
Maybe I should do what Blair Waldorf did on Gossip Girl when she lost her virginity to Chuck--visit on a priest at the local church and confess my sins.
Come to think of it, that wouldn’t work because my parents knew everyone at the church and if they found out what happened between Justin and I, I’d be screwed big time. Forget about me being grounded, I’d be shunned from the world and locked up like an animal if they found out.
Maybe I could tell Carly…
Ha, yeah right. She’d probably piss her pants and have a heart attack and the last thing I needed was to drive her to the hospital and have to explain why she fainted in the first place.
I guess the safest thing to do was keep my mouth shut and try to handle this as calmly as possible.
So far, that wasn’t working out well.
Maybe if I have some holy water thrown on me, it’ll all go away.
… I watch too much TV for my own good.
The soft rumbling from the tires running over the rocks on the road brought me back to reality as I sat in Justin’s car with my legs pressed together and my hands on my thighs.
Justin kept his eyes on the road, concentrating on that while he whistled to his own beat.
How can the fucker be so calm about this?
Here I was practically having a mental breakdown while he’s acting as if nothing happened between us.
Men. I scoffed. I will never understand them. Even if I wanted to.
“What’s wrong with you?” Justin’s voice pulled me out of my train of thoughts as I snapped my head to look at him.
Is he seriously asking me that right now? How dumb could he possibly be? “Nothing.” I mumbled.
Justin chuckled humorlessly. “Obviously it’s something so why don’t we cut the bullshit and just cut to the chase?” He pulled his eyes away from the road to look at me, his gaze making me shift uncomfortably in the seat reminding me of the first time I ever sat in here.
“Just thinking about things, I guess.” I shrugged, looking out the window again. I know I was being vague but I really didn’t feel the need to bring up the current topic that was eating me up alive inside. I feel that if I did, things would immensely get awkward between us and the last thing I needed was for him to be a mute.
Then again, come to think of it, that might not actually be a bad thing…
“Like what?” He looked out onto the road again. Tucking his left knee under the steering wheel, using it to steer while he dug into the pocket of his leather jacket, pulling out a cigarette and a lighter. Lighting the cigarette up, he layered it between his lips before taking his knee out from under the wheel and replacing it with his hand.
Taking a drag from the smoke, he wheeled down the window a smudge to let the smolder escape from the opening and out onto the fresh air outside.
“I don’t know…” I mumbled. “Just… things I guess.” I shrugged.
Justin arched a brow, looking at me for a split second before turning away. “You guess?” He shook his head. “Obviously you should know what you’re thinking about.” He took another drag of his cigarette, locking it in before letting it out into a perfect ring of smoke.