Home (A Jax Teller/ Sons Of Anarchy Fanfiction)

Chapter 1

"Shakespeare's use of the themes of hatred and betrayal to further the tension between the two lead characters is..."

My eyes glaze over the paper in front of me and I blink them a couple of times before I give up, sitting further back in the office chair. I glance up at the clock and see it's 6:45pm and I let out a groan. This is my third night in a row that I have had to stay back marking these essays. I decide that I've had enough for the night and I pack them away, adding them to the ever growing pile I have to take home. I pack up my desk and pull on my leather jacket, grabbing the pile of papers and my purse.

I turn the light at my desk off and step out of the staff room, locking it behind me. I walk through the empty halls, hearing the sound of one of janitors in the distance vacuuming. I walk outside to the crisp cold air and a shiver runs down my back as I walk to my car. I unlock it and place my purse and papers in the back. I climb into the driver's seat and start the car up, waiting for the heat from the air conditioner to kick in.

Music plays in the background as I pull out of my parking spot and begin to make my way home. On the way I stop in and order take away, not really in the mood to cook tonight. I drive the twenty five minute drive and pull up outside my pitch black house. As I look at the dark windows, I feel the empty, dark feeling in my chest. I push away the thoughts, not really in the mood for a crying jag at the moment, I'll save that for bed time.

I climb out of the car and struggle to hold the takeaway bag, my purse and the paperwork. I manage to get ahold of it and I eventually make my way into the house. I flick lights on along the way and ignore the pictures that stare at me from their frames, a reminder of the too painful past. I walk into the kitchen and dump everything on the counter, letting out a groan. I turn towards the fridge and grab out the bottle of wine, filling up a glass from the cupboard.

I grab the takeaway and the glass of wine before making my way into the lounge room. I place the wine and food on the table before I flop down onto the soft cushions. I grab the remote off of the table and let out a loud yawn as I turn on the TV. I flip through the channels, taking a sip of wine as I search for something to watch. I land on some mindless sitcom and leave it as I begin to eat my dinner. I reach over to the side table and pull open the draw before retrieving my spare pair of glasses. I slip them onto my head and I settle back and begin to watch the show, though not really taking it in.

I eat the food in the container, not really tasting it at all. The only thing that I really feel anything towards is the wine, which I finish all too quickly. Soon the food is gone and I'm looking blankly at the TV screen. I glance at the clock on the wall and see that it's one in the morning. Tomorrow is a Saturday, which means I have nothing to do. Nothing to distract me from my thoughts.

Reluctantly I turn off the TV and make my way upstairs to my room in the all too empty house. I reach my bedroom and make my way to the bedside table where I switch on the lamp. I automatically pull off my clothes and dump them in the washing basket in the hamper in the ensuite. I grab one of the oversized shirts and slip it on and crawl onto my side of the bed. The other side has remained untouched for the last seven months.

I face away from that side of the bed and reach up to turn the lamp off. The room in engulfed in darkness and I clutch my pillow to my chest, burying my face deep into the softness of the pillow. My eyes remain wide open and I know that it will be a long time before I fall asleep. As I lay in the darkness, the all too familiar thoughts begin to crowd my head and I know what comes next. They begin slowly at first, a tear every now and then. But as always, it slowly becomes a gushing waterfall.

I sob into my pillow as the memories come rushing back to me, like they always do when I'm alone. I try as hard as I can to push them away but I can't. Instead I just lay there in the bed and cry myself to sleep, wishing that there was something that would get me out of the god forsaken nightmare.