📝02/08/2023.
I went to CAMHS to do my physical observations to find out I lost weight.
📝03/07/2023.
Barbie.
The movie Barbie was amazing when I went to go watch it this day.
I don't know if it's anorexia but I got so emotional. I've never in my life cried over a movie until I watched Barbie; It honestly sounds very dumb. What got me was the speech in Barbie towards the woman and how they hated how we try to look skinny and beautiful to impress society and it's messed up; it expressed how we have to be happy and content with how we look and own it as no one is ever satisfied. The message really touched me and when Billie Ellish song 'What was I made for?' came up, suddenly my cheeks became wet.
After that rollercoaster of emotions, I felt refreshed and joyful.
I told myself to not feel insecure as being skinny doesn't mean beautifully.
After we watched Barbie we went to Nando's. Nando's was my favorite restaurant before my eating disorder so I didn't know how I'd feel.
I used to order rice, chips and chicken but ever since my ED, I would fear eating too many carbs therefore, I would always order salad without any dressing instead of the chips. On this day I felt like stepping it up and ordered broccoli. I feared having the broccoli as they put olive oil on it and even though they stated the calories on the menu, I was scared they might add a bit more olive oil than intended therefore, the calories being higher than said. Instead of me overthinking, I ordered the broccoli and enjoyed it.
I had an amazing day by the end and whenever my guilt would arise, my dad would keep reminding me how I'm now a engineer in my apprenticeship and need a lot of energy when doing operations therefore eating is good.
I then remembered how food gives me strength especially fats. The guilt then disappeared/
Whenever you feel guilty about food, think about what you want to be and remember how good could give you energy to be that thing.
YOU ARE READING
OVERCOMING A ONGOING BATTLE OF ANOREXIA WITH GOD.
Non-Fiction'But a black young girl of God cannot get Anorexia or mental illnesses-. This is my story. You probably have struggled like how I have too. These were my coping mechanisms. This was a battle. A battle you may have experienced as well. This was ongoi...
