Tension - Central Cee - Kenza

Six.

Kenza

I have been so zoned out since Oakley, and since I have met him that time. I didn't want to come off as a beg and just chasing him so instead I closed off and let him do the chasing but he didn't back off, he's actively making the effort which I enjoy, he is busy but he isn't busy for me and that makes me a little happy but now I am just trying to stay away from Jay; I am so zoned out of that relationship that he doesn't see it, because I feel he wasn't with me for me, I feel he just sees me as a spare part and I've been stuck to him, practically spent my entire time with him, I am bored and I needed a little kick, a change in my life which has happened with Oakley, he's gone on his little club tour, just a few places but he's being worked and I feel for him but he's happy I guess, I made him work for my number though which he wasn't best pleased but he did it "Kenza" looking away from my computer screen, seeing the security officer "yes?" He has flowers with him "it was sent for you" my eyebrows knitted together "for me" I am confused "yes you, have fun" he laughed as he walked off leaving the brightly coloured bouquet, looking across the floor and at Jay, is he trying to get on my good side, we haven't been speaking really so this will be cute of him. Grabbing the card on the side, it's in a cute little envelope. Pulling the card out 'see me in Birmingham, it's my birthday and I miss you, Cench' my face softened, he sent me flowers to my work. He finally admitted he misses me after the various conversations about this, he said it. My eyes darted to across the floor and Jay isn't in his seat so my eyes frantically searching the floor, he is coming over here not best pleased to see flowers. My hands are shaking, I quickly hid the card knowing I have to come up with something. I dropped it on the floor and placed my foot over it, he would see if I started moving around too much, I smiled at Jay "you sent me these?" My heart is pounding, I haven't checked if anything else was put in these "no?" The bluntness in his voice "then who!?" I spat, confused as I could be "you got fancy men around, no card or anything?" The way he is dragging my flowers around, that hurt to see because these are mine, from him.

Once Jay left me the fuck alone and he's still trying to figure who gave me these, I was quick to call Oakley, I am so happy he even did that. He's so unromantic so what is this, on the phone he doesn't really speak unless I push him too, he's listening but then he isn't listening so for him to send these, he's really wanting me to come. I know he's been asking a lot for me to come, for me to see him in Birmingham but I can't get time off or Jay won't let me go, what excuse will I have, he acts like my husband "yo, yo, yo" his deep voice boomed through the phone and involuntarily bit my bottom lip, the moan that escaped my lips, I hope he didn't hear "you have the deepest voice" pushing open the door which leads to the exit staircases nobody uses unless it's a fire "you tell me that everyday, what time is it?" He's in bed then "about eleven, thank you for the flowers. I mean why?" He is laughing, that deep laugh of his "last minute thing that's it" he simply explained, a man of not many words "that's it?" I chuckled "that's it, come out. Listen to me" I sighed out heavily "my birthday, don't be rude" he's telling me that "says the man that left me on the FaceTime to watch you watch the TV? And then I was telling you how much I miss you and you said ok, be quiet" he's so rude "the first one wasn't rude, think deeper. Second one is just peak. Tell me, if I send you train details and hotel details you come? I would appreciate it" why does he even want me to come "making it hard you know, I don't do shit for anyone, I don't do this. Like me even thinking of paying out, just like your company, I'll ask one time and if you say no then allow it, so come?" He's asked me so many times how can I say no, I feel bad "I will come" I have to go "but send me nothing, just send me the club details. I'll come, ok? Deal" he is quiet now "got you" the silence between us, I feel a little giddy now "thank you for the flowers" I mumbled "don't mention it" I just know we are both smiling right now.

Jay threw my flowers away and I am so angry but while he was being petty I planned something with Noor, well begged her to help me get out and leave for Birmingham right now, she should be here right about now and Jay is sat next to me, he won't leave me now. He assumes a colleague here bought them me but no, and I am so upset he threw them away, my phone on my desk started ringing so I was quick answer it "Hi Kenza it's security downstairs I have your friend downstairs and she is crying, not sure why" my poor firebug having to do this for me "oh is she? That is weird, I am coming" putting the phone down "who is it?" I got up from the seat "Noor, she is crying downstairs" I said to him knowing he's going to say he will come with me "oh let me come, hope she's ok" he's saying it like he cares when he fucking doesn't, he's just obsessed with me and wants to know what is happening at all times. The elevator doors opened and we walked out together, I was silent in there because why did he need to come "Kenza, I need to go to Manchester, my cousin has had an accident. I need you to drive me my car is not working, I came here in a taxi" Noor is really crying and she has said the wrong city but maybe she did it on purpose "oh what, don't cry. It's ok" I swiped my pass leaving the barriers "I'm sorry to hear" Jay said right behind me "I am so sorry Jay, can she take me? I need to go now" Noor and this crying is a little believable for me "no, go. I'm sorry" it's working, and now I can get out of this without him getting at me "how long for? Will it be a few days, it will be Manchester" turning to him "Manchester?" I said confused "that's where my cousin is" Noor said to me "oh yeah" I breathed out, I am so slow at times.

The way I ran back to the home and packed a little duffle with things and drove off, I feel bad because I put Noor in a position to lie too "done, I will take your car back to mine. You just train it to Birmingham. I said Manchester so he don't put two and two together. I will be home so don't worry you won't get aired out, I hate how scared you are of him" Noor does get mad with me with that "I'm not scared, he just gets me mad that is all. I rather not argue, Jay is all I know. This thing with him, I don't know what it is but it's like he makes me feel, I am happy. He makes me smile too, I just feel a lot. But I'm also not doing anything blind, Jay and I shouldn't have lasted but he is so liked by my family too" Noor huffed out "but it's like you don't need to be with him anymore, he's moved you with him to watch you but yet he's cheated on you? Kenza, all I want for you is to just have fun, be happy. Cench seems goofy, in a good way. I think he may be into you, he seems like a really stand off guy though but clearly you see something else, I want to come with you but please be careful" nodding my head "but have fun, he better pick you up too. Also what if you both start getting deeper?" I shrugged "I doubt it, we are just fun. I think we are right now just relaxing and vibing" only way to say it, I think we aren't anything but fun.

I told Oakley I arrived in Birmingham and he isn't even here; so I booked myself into a hotel, and now I am alone thinking what a terrible idea this was, at first this was a good idea but I don't think it was, he talked me into it and he wasn't even here. He's still in a different city but now I feel so silly, I hate myself for this, answering Noor call "hey, did you get there ok?" She asked "it's late too so I hope you got to him or?" I sighed out heavily "I'm alone here, he said I never gave him warning and yeah, I am so stupid. I jumped because he said? I mean he did beg a little, the flowers that did it, oh wait. He's calling, I won't be long" putting Noor on hold and answering Oakley call "yo Kenz, where are you?" I am annoyed at him "I am going back, forget it. I am so just dumb for coming, I lied to my boyfriend for you" he is so full of it "I never said you did wrong, I wanted you to come. I am just stuck here, tell me what hotel you at?" Shaking my head "Oakley, just leave it. It's just stupid, I don't know why I even came, you're there with your boys and the girls. I am not stupid, I see it. Just leave it, I am going home" I rather not stay "what girls though? Ain't no girls here, I am on the train, I am coming from Leeds, you can't be penalising me for what my peers do" he's a lie "Oakley, please leave it. I am going to sleep, it's late" disconnecting the call, I am mad with him and he's a liar "what was said?" Noor asked me but I feel so deflated "I am dumb" I laughed, I have to laugh at myself.

I meant it when I said I was getting ready for bed, I am not dealing with that. I refuse to let a rapper get me down, I won't let it happen. He has missed called me so many times and text me; but I've been getting ready for bed so I'm now going to get cosy and then sleep. It's just funny to think that I ran here, I let some flowers cloud my judgement. I need to let it go, he's a rapper now and he has other girls and I refuse to be treated wrongly, I have Jay for that already. I huffed out looking at my phone, his name plastered all on my screen, he is calling again, probably feeling a type of way but let me answer and then I will sleep "how can I help?" He can just drop it now, he does all this shit and then lets me down "why ignore me? Tell me what hotel you at?" He's still asking that "for what? Why?" Shuffling down in the covers "I want to see you yeah, I'm in a car driving to Birmingham. Tell me or I will find out by force" rolling my eyes "then do it by force, anyways goodnight" I said before disconnecting the call "hear me out!" He shouted "it was never to do with girls, I know where you are. You literally tagged it on your page, I just rather you allow me to come and see you" shaking my head "Oakley, I am stupid. Have your fun, I was just having fun too. God bless" this time I put the phone down, I am not continuing that conversation.