Spaces // Z.M A.U

Chapter 22

"It is easy to sit up and take notice. What is difficult is getting up and taking action."

- Al Blatt.

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ZAYN'S POV

Numb.

I am numb from top to bottom.

I thought Alison breaking up from me would be worst but what happened last week is nothing compared to what I actually feel right now.

It's been a week since I spoke or last saw her because I let my jealousy and anger get the best of me.

And I hate myself so fuckíng much for it.

I never wanted how things turned out between Alison and I now. I will admit after that conversation, I did regret what I did to Kenny.

It was really out of line and unnecessary.

And even though I hate what he said about me, It's all the truth.

Everyone is right about me.

Alison is done with me and I mean she completely wiped me away from her life. I wanted to call her after she put the phone down but I didn't want to push it.

I sent her a text the next day and it didn't send at all. I called her and when I heard the electronic voice telling me that this person has blocked my number, that hurt so fuckíng much.

Alison really let go of me and she wasn't bluffing. I fucķed my only last chance and it infuriates me so much that I want to scream and trash things.

I hate myself for what I have done. I didn't want to end things like that and the bad part about it, I can't fight for her.
I can't let herself be involved with me because I screwed her life over and over again.

I really wanted to talk about us and our future for the baby but now I don't know anymore.

I have made my final decision about the baby and I can't speak to her because she won't listen.

I hate my life so fuckíng much. Why did I do this to myself and her?

Because I am not capable of keeping promises to her.

And even though it hurts to admit it, I deserve what happened between Alison and I.

Walking into my third class of today, I spotted Sam sitting in the back row with some random girl in the same row.

"Hey." I greeted and he nodded. Everyone was shuffling into class to get their seats so that the lecture can start.

"I find it a little bit odd that you here today." I frowned, looking at him "What do you mean?" "I thought... Never mind." He brushed it off.

"What?" "I thought you would be with Alison." "Sam you know that she doesn't want to do anything with me." I doodled on my sheet of paper.

"I guess but I thought you knew." "Knew what Sam?" I asked impatiently because he is not getting to the point.

"Wait. You seriously don't know?" He asked surprise "Know what?!"

"Mr Malik and Mr Willows would you like to enlighten us with your conversation?" Mr Hardy asked us and all the people looked at us.

"Sorry sir." We said in unison "Remember you don't have to be here. I said that countless times! That applies to all of you, including them." He said annoyance clear in his voice and he continued his lecture.