How I found out transmigration was a thing.

Chapter 14 - Joseon BL Fangirl

I took full advantage of the fact that my godmothers were frantically preparing the palace for Crown Prince Yi's visit. I told Lady Chun that I would spend the morning in the walled courtyard and stay out of their way. For a change, she didn't argue. Lady Chun has been sulking since yesterday, so stiff and formal with me she may as well be a robot in a hanbok. My assertiveness has thrown her off her game.

I'm a little cold, even though I am dressed in my thickest robes and a heavy cape lined with fur. The chill in my bones is worth the sense of freedom I feel being outdoors.  The air is crisp and clean, the sky is a perfect cheerful blue, a total contrast to the four dreary walls of my bed-chamber and the constant oppressive scent of incense. Sitting amongst the dark tangled shadows of the tree branches, the anger and desperation of yesterday has lifted somewhat. Once again I am reconciled with the fact I am stuck here and have to make the best of it.

I run my hands over the rough surface of my makeshift desk, so different from the delicate polished furniture in my room.  The desk is a creation of Lola...Lady Han. Thrown together when she heard I was planning to drag a rug outside and sit on that.  "Like a peasant?"  She had huffed.  "Young master will not be sitting on the ground like a commoner.  That will not do at all."

She came up with this instead. I felt bad for the servants who had to haul the table from the kitchen to the courtyard. It was a roughly built, long, rectangular table.  A cumbersome thing to move. The seat was less of a problem.  It was two linen chests atop each other, tied together, with a thick cushion for my comfort. In the end, I couldn't have asked for better. The table was large enough to hold everything I needed, including a small brazier to warm my hands. In my time Lady Han would have been a CEO of a successful company, one who thought outside the box and got the job done.

I have piled books at one end, and am slowly going through them, marking the passages I'm interested in. What I would give for sticky pink, green and yellow post-it notes. It's these stupid little things from my other life that trigger the most pain and regret. It's crazy. I can think of my mum and dad and not get upset but a pad of Post-it notes makes me want to cry. Suck it up, I tell myself constantly these days.

My attempt at starting a journal to record my thoughts failed miserably. Writing in English with a brush just didn't work for me. I'm too heavy-handed. Ironically, writing in Hangul comes naturally. Min's scholarly, exquisite calligraphy is a talent he kindly passed on to me. It will come in handy in the future but for now, to keep my secrets, I must write in English. I came up with an idea that might work, we will have to see.

I re-read several of the botanical books yesterday, and as a result, I've decided on a small project for myself and have a list of items I want to purchase. This time I cannot trust Lady Chun with the job. I have to find someone else to run my errands from now on, and I think I know the perfect person but I need to be discreet.

My fingers are stiffening up with the cold.  The brazier is a godsend.  I hold my hands up to it and eventually, they loosen up.  In front of me sits a scroll that I'd overlooked when I first searched Min's belongings but luckily discovered yesterday.  It was a map, a floor plan of sorts of Kkoch Palace.

Running my eyes over it I found my bedchamber.  I tap my finger on the spot, the center of my tiny universe.  Leaning down I pick up a handful of pebbles at my feet and put one down on my room. Then I run my finger along the corridor to the right, recalling the day I met the Prince in the main hall.  I  had turned right and then right again to reach the front of the building and the entrance to the main hall. Finding it on the map I put down a second pebble.

To find the kitchen I went in the opposite direction and out of the building, along a covered walkway to the kitchen block. I put down another pebble.

Looking at the map my stomach tightens, I realised how little I knew about the palace, and nothing of the world beyond. I intend to know every corner of this place, my little domain.