How I found out transmigration was a thing.

Chapter 57 - Waiting Waiting and more Waiting.

If it was 2024, my Facebook status would be the classic Marylin Mason at the window meme with Meh! written in bold over his head. It has been a month since I got stabbed and I'm now at the point where I can get around on my own. Although, I'm not left alone for longer than two seconds. Everyone watches me from the corner of their eye as if something is going to happen, and they have to be prepared to leap to my aid. If my godmothers were protective before, now they are positively paranoid.  

I want to go for a walk, I'm bored. I am waiting for Do-Yoon to arrive, as a result time has slowed down to annoy me. Spring has slipped into Summer and the days are glorious. Staying indoors feels like a crime but all I can do is look out the window and daydream.  I have far to much time on my hands and I'm slowly driving myself nuts.

Do-Yoon is no longer my bodyguard. I see him most days but it's at a distance. Managing the repairs to the Pavilion, plus training the new guards, and organising their quarters takes up most of his time. Instead of him I now have two heft brutes at my door, who follow me even when I go to relieve myself. I've been told Do-Yoon has news for me about Yung-So. I'm looking forward to see him.  So I wait.

Another thing beyond my control is the delivery of the books Dol promised me. He doesn't trust anyone to deliver them or collect the large sum he is asking for them. So I have to wait until he comes to the city and brings them himself. I'm hoping it will be in the next few days. I'm impatient to getting my hands on them. Note to self...find a hiding place. More waiting.

Something else I can't rush is the result of my long, drawn-out project of making soap. Don't mock my little triumph. It's a huge leap for mankind, if I say so myself. It's been months since I had the idea and finally, it is almost done. It's all thanks to Adam's help, the boy is indispensable. At the moment he is my arms and legs. I order him about and he follows my instructions. I am a tyrant and he is obliging. We have a perfect working relationship.

Adam is clueless about what he has made but in a couple of weeks he'll have a pleasant surprise. There are two trays of jasmine/aloe bars of soap curing in my workshop. All Adam knows is that if you touch the pungent liquid the wrong way and you get burnt. He learned that the hard way.

Then there's the question I asked the Crown Prince two days ago. Possibly one of the stupidest things I've ever done. His Highness was here updating me on the search for Yung-So. He finished telling me Yung-So's family was reportedly traveling north to the border. He was about to elaborate when I interrupted him. I'd planned to broach a delicate subject and ease him into cooperating. I imagined us having a civilized conversation and coming to some sort of agreement. But my nervousness reached a point where I couldn't hold the words back and they came out unfiltered. When I thought more about it later. I realised there was never going to be a good time to bring up the subject.

The reaction to my suggestion was unexpected. The Crown Prince sent the small table that had been sitting between us, flying across the room. The conversation ended abruptly. Leaving me wondering if I could have said it better. I'm waiting for a less physical response.

Last of all, our nuptial banquet is in two days. Their Majesties will be attending, to acknowledge our marriage and my title as Imperial Consort. With the selection process completed, it seems a pointless exercise. What's the opposite of waiting...well that's how I feel about the banquet. Perhaps dread is a better word.

With the Crown Prince Yin now having 2 other Consorts apart from me and 5 concubines, I feel that in less than a month I've be demoted. They are all entering the Palace this week. The concubines will live together in the Spring Garden Palace. From what I gather it is a huge Palace. with several courtyards to comfortably house these concubines. With room for more in the future. Who can ever have enough concubines? Do I care about any of this? No. Can I understand how they are OK about sharing a man? No.

The prized top spot of Noble Consort has gone to the daughter of General Li, Li, Sang-hee. She is sixteen. I want to vomit.

This is where the conversation I had with the Crown Prince comes in. I feel I need to explain why I made what might seem like a bizarre request. When I thought there was a chance I would die again. I started thinking that I hadn't taken advantage of my second chance at life. I hadn't been daring or brave. I thought back to my first death and how I lay dying bitching about never having sex. I was at death's door again and still hadn't experienced anything more than a kiss. That was when I decided, if I survived, that was going to change.

That said, living in the Imperial Palace, during the puritanical Joseon era limits my options. It's not as if I can pick up a guy at a bar, and take him home for sex. But I do have a husband. Regrettably, he's straight but maybe there's a little wriggle room for compromise.

SO...as he sat in front of me discussing Yung-So's family I blurted out something along the lines of.

"Woo-Jin....I was thinking that perhaps on the night of our nuptial banquet, we could sleep together. Just once." The Crown Prince who had been pouring tea missed the cup completely. He set down the teapot and stared at me as if I had grown horns.

"I know that you're not a cut-sleeve and soon you will have a different woman for every night of the week. But I was wondering if, maybe, possibly, you might consider spending a night with me. Just a one off, as a favour. So I don't die having never experienced being intimate with someone, or having an orgasm." I can't even blame this conversation on alcohol or drugs. I'm just an idiot.

"I nearly died and I hate the idea of dying a virgin. Now that I am your Consort I will never have a lover and I'm fine with that but can you give me one night? Just think of it as a little experimentation before you go off to produce enough heirs to start a soccer team. We don't even have to do the deed. I don't fancy being a bottom anyway. I'd love to know what a blow job feels like....hmmm what do you say?" I was on a roll. My stupidity knew no bounds. It only got worse after that. The Crown Prince remained silent, His face expressionless.

It was a slow-release explosion. You know like in silent movies where the fuse to the bomb takes forever to burn down. That's what it was like as I was forced to explain what fool around, do the deed, orgasms, bottom, and blow jobs meant. Even then the Crown Prince remained silent, frozen on the spot. Blinking and the colour spreading across his cheeks were the only signs of life.

What set him off was my Plan B. It seemed a perfectly reasonable option to me. "I totally get it if you can't stomach the idea. If that's the case would it be alright if I spent the night with someone else?"

The table went flying. He leaned over, grabbed my face, and pulled me towards him. It was only when I grabbed my stomach in pain that he remembered I was injured and let go. His pupils had dilated and he was about to speak when Lady Chun announced herself at the door. I don't think I need to wait for an answer. I'll take the table hurling as a NO.

....

Looking out the window at the garden isn't improving my mood. It's looking worse than on the day of the storm. So much has had to be cut back or pulled out. It will take until next summer for it to look lush again.

Finally, I hear Do-Yoon announce himself. I slowly walk to the door as he opens it. I am ridiculously pleased to see his surly face. "Let's go for a walk. I've been waiting for you all morning." He knew better than to resist as I wrapped my arm around his and led us out of the building into the sunshine.