A New Twist on the Ancient Scrolls
Retelling the Bible
Chapter by Chapter
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1 Yanni is so fair. He hates it when we put fake weights on the scale to trick folk into thinking we're giving more than we are. Loves it when we're honest though.
2 If we look down on folk and think we should have more than them, it'll turn us into dishonest cheats who use fake weights and stuff like that. But if we remember Yanni made us and loves us all the same, we'll treat fellow people with respect.
3 Folk who walk the straight and narrow way of virtue will get closer to heaven with every step. But folks who wander the rough and wild waysides of sin gradually work their way down to hell.
4 Yanni judges everyone in the afterlife. Enraged at the wickedness of selfish sinners, he smites them with a second death. Sends them back to the lower realms to think on their sins. All the riches they cheated and killed for on Earth won't save them then. But the righteous ones he lets live in heaven forever.
5 If you never do anything wrong, no one can blame you. Not even Yanni. So you can walk the smooth road to heaven, head held high. But no one trusts folks who're always upto no good. They get the blame for everything and rightly so. Theirs is a rocky road, always tripping up. It leads to hell.
6 Everyone trusts honest folk. Even Yanni. They'll be respected on earth and in heaven. But no one trusts liars with evil desires. Angels and people both shun them.
7 A wicked soul has no chance in the otherworld for success. In chains at the gate of hell he reads the sign: "Abandon Hope All Ye Who Enter Here." Then gets pushed through by a demon with a pitchfork.
8 Bad folks knock each other over in the muck, then walk on each other, trying to stay clean. They do it to good folk as well. The difference is. When they do it to someone good, the muck won't stick.
9 Folks who don't believe in Yanni try to ruin their neighbours by talking trash. But those who believe know Yanni rains trouble on folk like that. So never talk trash about anyone.
10 Crowds cheer when good people succeed. They cheer when bad people snuff it as well.
11 Kind words and good deeds give you and your town a sparkling reputation. Wicked words and dirty deeds drag your town's name through the dirt. Who will want to go there then? With no fresh life injected, the walls will crumble, one way or another.
12 A man who trashtalks his neighbour drops trash on his own doorstep as well. Not very bright. A wise man always holds his tongue. Stops the filth from spilling out. Keeps himself and his neighbour squeaky clean.
13 If you hear someone gossip, you know they can't keep secrets. If you don't, you can probably talk to them about anything. They'll keep your unlucky misfortunes locked inside. Snuggled up to their great big heart. The bit Yanni weighs in the afterworld.
14 Wise rulers make the best plans for everyone involved. So put the wisest ones in charge. Then your project will succeed. Unwise ones think of themselves but don't see the big picture. Put them in charge and your project in the long run will fail.
15 Don't make deals with folks you don't know. They can slip away easy without coughing up.
16 Yanni is the best boss. He pays everyone with heavenly treasures. Even weak little women, if they're virtuous. But a big muscle man who throws his weight around and don't bother being virtuous. All he gets is what he robs off the little guy. In time it will slip through his fingers.
17 If you're kind to others, it does you good as well. It makes your soul and reputation shine. If you're nasty, no one on earth or in heaven will look out for you.
18 Folks who cheat folks outta cash always have to watch their backs. But the man who earns an honest wage can enjoy it free of guilt.
19 Life is a gift from heaven. Heaven is the source of life. He who walks the righteous path to heaven gets eternal life. He who walks the selfish path dies on earth then dies in heaven. Then gets reborn and dies again.
20 Yanni hates the wilful and wayward. They never do what he says. So he don't let them go to heaven. He loves meek, obedient little souls. He lets them live with him forever.
21 The bad rep of a bad man rubs off on his kids. So folk hate them as much as him. But the good rep of a good man paints his kids in good lights. So folks love them as much as him.
22 A girl in fine clothes is a sight to behold. But if she can't hold herself back or hold her tongue. It's like putting those clothes on a wild beast.
23 Folks who walk the holy way of virtue are happy on the inside. When you're happy inside, you wish others well. But folks who walk the way of sin have tortured souls. They can't stand seeing other people happy. As they're not happy themselves. So try to cause folks trouble.
24 The good guy is always giving stuff away. So people love him and give him stuff back. Even Yanni loves him. So gives him good luck. The bad guy is always hoarding fat stacks, and don't give a hoot about anyone else. So everyone hates and wants to rob him. Even Yanni hates him, and waits for his chance to strike.
25 If you're happy to share, folk will be happy to share with you. So you can eat well by giving food away, and quench your thirst by pouring people drinks.
26 When a guy has stuff folks want but won't share, they call him names and wish him harm. But if he gives a share to those in need, they sing his praises and wish him well.
27 The man who looks for ways to do good will find folk look for ways to do good back. The man who looks for ways to make trouble will soon find out they don't.
28 The joy of a man who loves money will grow and wither like seasonal trees. But the joy of a man who loves virtue will flourish all year like an evergreen.
29 A man who invites trouble to his door will end up owning nothing but the wind that chills him as he sleeps on the street, begging wise men for a bite to eat.
30 If you walk the way of virtue, you'll dine in heaven on the fruit of eternal life, and many lost souls will follow you.
31 This is the holy law. Those who do good will get paid back with joy. Those who do bad will get paid back with woe.
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