Heart Attack (a HeartStopper story)

Nick. For the last time

"I believe you Nick, I know you wouldn't lie to me... he is a..."

"Asshole." Nick finished. They were close, but not touching. They just felt the heat the other was emanating increase... or was it just a mirage from the alcohol and their own desires.

"Is that why you want me to break up with him?"

"Partly..." The words were still on the tip of his tongue.

"Imogen is amazing. I don't want you to broke up with her because I think she's no good for you... it's pure selfishness."

"I don't think it's selfish for you to tell me how you feel..."

"I don't feel entitled to make you give up something that makes you happy."

"Just because Imogen is great company... doesn't mean am happy."

"Aren't you?"

"I think I could be... more..." Nick nudged him with his hip, to which Charlie only responded with a laugh. "Were you upset about what Matias told you about me or did something else happen?"

Charlie couldn't hold it in, and let a tear fall. Nick immediately put a hand on his shoulder. "What happened?"

Evrything unfolded... and he told him what had just happened. Nick was furious, and started circling like a cornered dog. Charlie was strangely calm for his experience.

"Is it selfish to tell him what you feel and think?"

"Playing with his emotions is. Asking him to change things and then asking him to stop."

"You have every right to ask him to stop. He can't do this to you... I'm so sorry Charlie, you shouldn't have to keep living that."

"Nick it was me that hurt him."

"So many years being your friend and... He thinks this is the way to win you back?"

"Nick" Charlie noticed the anger was fitting him into a spiral.

"I should have been there to do something."

"Nick." Charlie stepped in front of him, but Nick couldn't see him.

"You shouldn't have to face those things alone. I..."

"NICK" Charlie grabbed him by the face and slammed his body against him. That dropped him completely, and made him see only him. Nick's heart stopped beating for a second to return to its normal rhythm.

Sparks. Fire. Everything erupted between them.

And no matter how much they wanted to kiss... they didn't.

"I make mistakes Nick. I should have been consistent and objective with him too. This isn't just his fault. You can't protect me from myself."

"I don't want to let anything... hurt you."

"It's all right."

"It's not okay. He had no right."

"He's not Ben" Charlie understood what Nick was feeling. "Matias may be an idiot but he had no intention of making me do anything. I understand your goal is to protect me, but you have to accept that I hurt him too."

"I have a hard time accepting that you can... hurt us."

"Can I ask you something else?" Charlie interrupted him, not letting go. Nick hesitated whether to do the same and hug him too, since Charlie's hands were still holding his face and his own were hanging awkwardly at his sides. He could feel Charlies torso and legs stretching to be level with his face.

"Sure...can I..." Nick tentatively brought his arms up to embrace him. He feared overwhelming him with more unwanted contact.

"Touch you? Please." Nick felt both their bodies untension and held him firmly and lovingly by the waist. Having him this close was more intoxicating than all the alcohol they'd both had. "I need you to give me permission to apologize to you."