Heart Attack (a HeartStopper story)

Nick. Saying goodbye.

Song recommendation for the chapter: Exile - Folklore - Taylor Swift.
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Listening carefully to the train station announcements, Nick clutched his backpack tightly between his arms and his suitcases between his legs. Sitting on one of the station's waiting benches, he trembled as Imogen went to find coffee for both of them. His mother would pick him up at the station near home, which meant only a short car ride would separate him from his old town. With all the changes and feelings he was experiencing, he hadn't stopped to contemplate that soon his mother would leave that house behind as well, since without children running around, it had become too big and lonely. He hadn't thought about what it would be like to live there one last time and, in the process, pack up all his memories and close that chapter of his life.

"A bit more expensive than I expected, but I found them," Imogen returned to his side with a wistful smile and two cups of hot coffee. Nick smiled back, thanked her for the coffee, and made space for her on the bench next to him.

"The train will be departing in a few minutes."

"Do you have plans for your arrival?"

"For now, just surviving the trip."

"Come on, Nick, it doesn't have to be so daunting. It's your home. You'll have to visit the school before you start working, see the new fields they built; you'll love them for rugby. Oh! And you'll have to go to Darcy and Tara's center before the forum's opening at the end of the week. It's beautiful, you'll love the idea... I know you talk to those you can, but I'm sure everyone misses you a lot..."

Imogen did that. She talked a lot and quickly when she was nervous about something or didn't know how to get Nick out of his head. She looked directly at him, almost pleading, and he tried to do the same, but he failed miserably.

"I saw that Tao will be around as well. Elle goes there a lot, I think. The last time I visited them, they told me that, no matter how much they insisted, you refused to go to the center..."

"I'm not refusing, I swear. I just haven't found the time to go. But I want to, believe me. They know that. I'll meet up with them this afternoon."

"Alright... Nick, I... " She nervously sipped her coffee. "I've been talking to Sahar..." Imogen's friendship with Sahar gave him a lot of comfort. They had become as close as the two of them throughout college, and knowing that Imogen wouldn't be alone thinking about Nick and his insecurities and problems comforted him. "Everyone knows that after what happened, and, well, you and Charlie stopped spending time together, the whole group fell apart with you two. But she asked me to remind you that they're all still your friends, and they care about you just as much as you do about them. They miss you. They'll welcome you with open arms... maybe even Charlie, you never know." Imogen knew that more than his ex-boyfriend, Nick had lost his best friend in the process of everything that happened, and thinking of Nicholas alone was just scary.

"I highly doubt that last part, Imogen, but thank you. I... know it. Or at least I think I do." Nick knew he had distanced himself from everyone to save his heart and Charlie's from breaking even more. That sacrifice had cost him many friendships along the way. He knew they still loved him, but he also knew he had provided very little care. There was nothing Nick hated more than not taking care of people he cared about so much. He tried to find a way to stay current with everyone. He remembered their birthdays, sent them things from time to time, talked to everyone at least once a week... he even exchanged movie and book recommendations with Tao and Isaac, but everyone knew. Nick had disappeared from the group for five years, and it was a conscious and sad decision. He didn't attend their gatherings. He didn't go to their respective celebrations. Not if it meant he'd be there too.