Jug and Finesse

Persùae

Keshina

After waking up I remembered me and Shantii talking last night. I felt much better than I did yesterday. I had to re-think about everything.

I mean I'm still hurt at the fact I lost my baby and I'll never get that out of my mind but I have to realize it wasn't my fault.

I woke up this morning, and noticed Ma left my phone on the bedside table.

I had multiple text by Quinn and I felt bad for giving him the cold shoulder when he didn't even do anything. I know he's just worried about me so I text him back.

I looked at the time, 6:30. I had to be at school by 8:30 so I needed to get up forreal. I looked at my door and saw a small sticky note hanging from the door knob. I got up out the bed and read it.

I know you may be tired and not in the mood to go to school today..so I called the school and gave them a doctor's note so you can be excused for today.

Love you,

Mom.

I let out a breath of relief at the note, Lord knows I didn't want to go to school. I mean, yeah, I was feeling better than yesterday but not 100% and I really didn't feel like facing no teachers or work.

Plus it was gon be hella hard to restrain myself from lunging at Heaven and Makaysia. What they did was unforgivable.

I text Quinn cause I wanted to talk to him, and apologize for how I was acting.

Me: You can come over if you want and talk this out..

Quin: Aight I'm about to pull up.

After texting Quinn, I knew that he was coming. I started lighting candles so the house could smell good, I still had my pajamas on and hair wrap on.

I didn't care at the moment though. I was sick and tired. I heard a knock on the door, I opened it and was face to face with Quinn. "Hey," he said, handing me something in a bag.

 "Hi," I smiled and took the bag. I looked in it to see what it was. I pulled out a brown stuffed teddy bear and a bag of candy attached to it.

 "Thank you come in," I said, locking the door behind him. He went in the living room to sit down and I followed him. "So..." he started looking around.

 "Yeahh umm," I said. "Man I really don't know how to feel yo, I really expected to be a father," he looked down.

"It's all my fault, I promise you I was so ready to pop off when they was jumping me, I could've sworn I was protecting my belly, but I guess not. But when I found out my baby was gone... I just couldnt believe it. I was crying so bad, I thought I was gonna die.. well I wanted to," I said, shaking my head.

 "It's not your fault! You didn't even know they was coming. The only thing that you've done wrong so far is shut me out. You think you were the only one hurting? Yeah, you was carrying it but that's my child too. You never once took that into consideration," he said.

I blinked then thought about it. He was right. I hadn't. I realize I am selfish but did I really not even think about that while I was ignoring him?

"You're right..I just didn't know how to feel," I sighed. "Tell me how you feel," he grabbed my palms and rested them on his lap.

"No one will ever know how I feel, never, unless they've been through what I just did. And the fact the bitch came in my face Quinn! In my face! Bragging that my own baby died. Are you serious? I want that bitch to die! They killed my child I want her to just die," I said, getting angry and in tears.