Jug and Finesse

Eblen

Please listen to the song in the Visual while reading the book, it will give off a better vibe, so you can understand Keshina's emotions a little better.

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Keshina

After finding out I lost my baby, I just couldn't believe it. I just wanted to go home, I didn't wanna fuck with anyone. The doctor walked back in, "Keshina you are free to go, but here are some pain pills to numb the pain," he said.

I nodded and took the pills. He walked out and I turned to my mom. "Ma, can I come back? Can we just go home?" I asked.

"Okay but when we get home, we're gonna talk about this," she said, looking at me.

"Talk about what? There isn't shit to say," I snapped. I instantly regretted those words because the next thing she did was slap the taste out of my mouth.

"I'm getting real sick of your mouth. Now get your ass up and come on," she snapped.

I stood shocked for a second. "You must be deaf. I said get up and come the fuck on," I knew she was beyond mad. Scared of getting slapped again, I stood up and slid into the sweats she handed me.

When I was finished, I stood. Shantii handed me my phone and Ma grabbed it before I could take it. "Unt unt not with the disrespect you've been giving me," Ma said.

"Yo, are you serious? Give me my phone," I drew my eyebrows in and raised my voice.

"I'm dead ass serious, I'm sick of it. I've been letting too much shit slide," she guided me out of the door.

I didn't even say bye when I left. This bitch was straight embarrassing me. I can't take her.

I walked out of the hospital's front entrance and found my way to my mama car. I jumped in the car, waiting for her to come on. "Ma-"  I started, I wanted to apologize but she cut me off.

"Keep your mouth closed. I sympathize with you for losing your child, although you weren't even supposed to be fucking, let alone in my house, but I do sympathize. What I don't have tolerance for is your mouth. I don't know if it's because you think you're too old to get beat down or what, but I am your mother. You will never disrespect me again, like you did earlier, do you understand me? I've done right by you. I don't understand where this new fresh, fast ass wanna be grown little girl came from but tell her to leave, and now. Do I make myself clear?" she snapped.

I looked at my palms and felt the tears surfacing. "Yes ma'am," I answered. She crunk the car up and drove home. I can tell she knew I was looking at her out of the corner of my eye.

The fact I lost a child before I could go to any doctor appointments, sonograms, anything...it was so fucked up. I tried to cry silently but ended up breaking into sobs.

We pulled up to the house I opened the door and I ran in my room and locked the door. I heard my mom knock on the door, "I need time!" I cried with my head in the pillow.

"I'm here for you, you know that,"  she said then I heard her walking away from my door. I got up and started throwing everything, everywhere.

I threw all of my picture frames, and listened to the glass breaking. I threw my lamp, dressers, blankets, sheets, everything.

"Fuck life! Just fuck everyone!" I screamed to myself. Crying, I got in the corner of my room and I cut the radio on. The saddest song came on, Jhene Aiko - Comfort Inn Ending.

I cried till I was tired, till I had no more tears, till I didn't feel so broken. My child died because of all these stupid bitches! Just why? Why my child? I broke down.