The Limit (Sebastian Vettel)

114. Blast From The Past

Seb lay on the sofa, his eyes filling with tears as he listened to Lily crying in the bedroom. It was taking everything he had not to go to her and hold her. He had to stay strong though. He couldn't let her walk all over him. She had to realise what she was doing to him.

He knew he was being petty by ignoring her, he knew they had to talk, but he wasn't ready yet.   He wanted to get Goodwood out of the way, and then they could talk when they got home.  Maybe by then he'd have calmed down a little. 

He and Daniel had had a heart to heart while he'd been staying in the Australian's motorhome. Daniel had understood where he was coming from, but he'd also thought that  Seb had overacted over Lily saying love ya to Lando. Maybe he had, but it had hurt, it had so fucking much.

Finally he drifted off into a restless sleep where he was plagued by dreams of Lily. Lily laid in the snow in a pool of blood. Lily kissing Lando. Lily telling him that he was unloveable.

When he woke he heard the rain battering against the windows. There had been talk the previous evening at dinner about the weather. A weather warning for high winds and heavy rain had been given, and the Duke had said there was a risk that Saturday's running would be cancelled.

He rubbed the sleeping dust out of his eyes and reached down onto the floor to pick his phone up. It was half past six, and he saw that he'd had a text the previous night at around ten. He hadn't heard it, even though he'd been awake then.

He opened it and saw it was from the Duke, telling him that Saturday had indeed been cancelled. He sighed. Now he had a whole day to fill, a day cooped up with Lily. He decided straight away that he couldn't face that. He would give Mick a buzz and see what he was doing. Surely the Duke had some form of entertainment like a pool table or a dartboard. If not maybe they could take a drive into Chichester and find something to do before the ball.

Damn, the ball. How was he going to be able to cope with sitting next to Lily? Everyone would see that something wasn't right between them. Rumours would start flying about, and that's the last thing he wanted. This was between him and Lily.

He got up and tiptoed through the bedroom to use the en-suite bathroom.   Lily was fast asleep, laid on top of the covers on her front.   Her pyjama top had ridden up.  Seb stood still for a moment, looking at her bare back.  Oh how he longed to touch her, to kiss her, to make love to her, but he couldn't.   Not until they'd spoken and cleared the air between them.   He needed to hear how she felt.   Guesswork just wasn't going to work anymore.   He needed more.   He deserved more.

After he'd used the toilet he went back to the lounge and laid down on the sofa again.   The rain seemed to be getting heavier, and the wind was getting up too.   It had definitely been the right choice to call off Saturdays running.   He knew there would be a lot of disappointed fans,  but safety came first. 

Somehow he managed to nod off again, and when he woke it was fully light.  He could hear quiet music coming from the bedroom.  Lily must be awake.   He knew that the logical thing to do that day was to talk with her but he really didn't want to have that conversation here in Goodwood House in case they started arguing again.   He picked his phone up once more.   It was now ten past eight.  He'd had a text from Britta informing him that one of the television networks wanted to do an interview with him for the highlights show, and she also suggested that he went live on his Instagram to address the fans that had been left disappointed.

He messaged her back quickly, saying yes to both, and then he sent Mick a text asking him if he fancied hanging out. 

He looked around as he heard the bedroom door open.  Lily was stood there in the doorway looking at him.   She looked so sad that he almost crumbled, until he remembered her words. Love ya Lando.