Vent + Angel Numbers

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May 13, 2023

I hate it. I hate it when I see glimpses of the old me coming back. I feel like I've regressed back to that pitiful form. The weak girl with glasses who was ready to accept any treatment. The one who would practically live behind a screen, not go outside, and who had no friends. 

The stalking from the cps has also negatively impacted my life. All the times I've noticed someone behind my shoulder have taken a toll on me. I don't feel safe walking outside like I used to, so I stay inside all day. I got a new job and went out a lot this week, but I only went on two walks. 

My job also negatively impacted my mental health. I watched this video on the seven stages of burnout. I did not know at the time, but I progressed through several of those stages in less than a week because of the job. 

wanted to get a job to save money, but I did not want to sign up for hell. I might be being overly dramatic, but I felt so overworked that I struggled to get out of bed today and I haven't had that issue for years. My fatigue felt horrible even though I slept nine hours. My whole body felt sore. 

Furthermore, my anger issues worsened this week. I snapped at my sister a few times and two nights ago, I also snapped at Toby. He was comforting me about something and then he started touching me sexually. I got mad at him and my anger was stronger than usual. I also saw Toby really clearly that night. His face was really clear in my mind. 

Wolf noticed after my first day at work that I was really tired. A lot more tired than usual. The next day, I pulled some message cards from him and two of the messages that came out were to take it easy basically. 

I might as well go over some other symptoms I've been getting. On some days this week, I kept on seeing angel numbers like 1010, 111, 911, 444, and 555. 1010 is a very positive angel number. I associate it with the ten of pentacles in tarot. That card means finding true happiness and living "happily ever after." It can also mean that manifestations and blessings are coming. 

911 talks about life-changing experiences occurring. It is energy that I associate with Saturn since Saturn has to do with hard lessons that must be learned in life. Saturn is like the strict and tough love type of father. This number shows up when a stressful and important event will happen. Certain things might be lost, but it is important for self-growth. 

444 talks all about being grounded. It is also a message that change will occur. Staying grounded during change ultimately makes it feel easier. It tells one to trust that things will be okay and that they will work out. When I see this number, it is also a reminder to get closer to my family and loved ones for comfort and support. 

Lastly, 555 is all about radical change. This number is also a reminder to let go of things from the past and things that you don't want to bring to your new future. This number also talks about new beginnings. This type of energy is similar to a rebellious teen going through an emo phase. I also feel a connection to this number since I am a life path 5. Life path numbers basically explain your personality and purpose in life. It's calculated by using your name. 

A life path five is a rebel. Someone who is supposed to shake things up and critique systems so that they can be rebuilt better. Life path fives are supposed to be adaptable, rebellious, adventurous, and curious.

This is a pretty long chapter, so I think I should end it here. Things have been feeling slow lately in terms of the paranormal. That said, I did see a ghost at work. A coworker said that the deli was haunted and after that, I saw glimpses of a person with a blue apron. Bye!


 


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