chapter 21

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I do not like the way he is holding her. My inner demon asked me to kick him but my sweet little angel winked at me while dancing in his arms.  Separating herself from his clutch, she walked back to me. Not caring who is watching or what will they think, I grabbed her by waist and placed my lips over her . She is just testing my patience now. 

"You seem to be red with jealously that he's holding me. "She said making me role my eyes at her.

"Who told you to be super hyper and push me against wall this morning? I feel dizzy and my back is hurting like hell. There's no way I will be able my move my body to this beautiful tune. Before you lecture me, when i dance with my Lady love, I do want to sway her body against me. " I said looking at her. 

"You make me blush." She said smiling at me. My heart knew she would. With time I have learned to woo her , throw few lines to remind her that m not that old to romance with. Naina held my hand pulling me towards the crowd who were tap dancing. I moved my leg holding her to close to me.

"Hello there love birds!." Her manager came smiling at us.

" I am so happy to see you both settled here. Well what can I say? She deserved it.  You know? You are one lucky man to sweep her off!." He commented making me frown but I covered it up with a smile. Naina didn't meet my eyes which confirmed my suspicions.

" What is he talking about?." I asked her.

" I... I was offered a permanent role here with a house and all facilities included ." She said.

" You accepted?." I asked her. To which she nodded yes. My hands on her waist loosened up on their own. Leaving her with her colleagues I sat back near bar. I came this far to hear this? My plan was completely different when I booked tickets.  I used up my whole savings just to see her settling down here? What about me? Where do I stand ? Will always be a support in her life ?

" Rishabh. " She called trying to move me a bit.  Snapping out of my daze I looked at her.

" Let's go home?" She offered I immediately collected our coats. Made her wear them and walked out with Naina trailing behind me. She tried to hold my hand but I moved it back. Matching our steps she held me by my arm but I took her hands off. Never in my life I feel so worthless, never in my life I feel so used up.  My mind started hurling unnecessary thoughts and I tried to block them by looking at snow.

"Why can't I hold your hand?!." She shouted . I turned around to see her.

" Not now." I said gesturing her to walk.

"What is wrong if I chose to work here?." She asked me. I just walked. She ran and tried to hold my hand but I jerked it off .

" Why can't I hold your hand?!." Shouted gaining attention.  With anger radiating from my body I brisked walked to her place and in a very calm manner said " Because naina , this is what you have to get used to in future."

" What do you mean???." She shouted. Either she is blind with new found freedom or her deepest desire to be hyper independent has caused her to think irrationally. Looking into her eyes,  I realised not a moment she thought about me, our relationship,  our future together.  If I had not come here, she would have opened up over a call and simply dumped me for her freedom of living.  Sometimes, I wish people put me first in priority list not for the things I do or have done for them but as a way of showing how important I am . Shaking my head, I walked past her to sit on a bench. Traveling half the world , I realised everyone is selfish if they meet what they want in life. What about people like me? People who wear heart on sleeves?

"Can we please talk?." She asked sitting beside me.

"Is there anything left to talk?."I asked her. 

She had pained expression.

"My father, he has lots of debts. Kainat told me she wants to study abroad. I want her to go. I know I can't spoon feed her but till I accumulate money for her first semester I can't come back. Hopefully, I can clear my dad's debt too."She said keeping her hand on mine.

My. Stupid. Fucked. Creative. Scenarios.

"I wanted to you make me No.1 priority. I am sorry I became insecure and angry. " I said still not holding her hands. My job might not pay off her dad's debts and sisters fee but I am sure I could have done something to support them.

"Stop thinking. It was you whom I first considered before saying yes. "She said making me frown. Not staying with me for God knows how many years that too with admirers who simply can't take their hands off her.

"You gave so much without asking. You will definitely do it in blink of an eye again. But, I want to share baby. It's not your responsibility, If I can contribute something now for a better future I want to do it. I will earn money, arrange for my sister as I know she's been forced to get married and save up some for our family too." She said making me look at her.

"Our family?." I asked.

"Why? Don't you want to have your own family?." She questioned making me frown.

"How can I? You will stay here for years, I will marry some girl back there but I can use your money if you are willing to help. " I joked to which she had tears in her eyes.

"OK. Won't joke. I don't like you planning for me. " I spoke.

"Rishabh? When will you get it? I want to take care of you, spend my life with you. Fight, cry, pray with you. You are forced to take care of yourself as well as others.  Let me have a chance? Will you allow me to be in your life as much as you are in mine?." She asked.

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