he saved me

we missed you

It was already pretty late so my dad and I slept at the order's house.
"How did you manage to get food?"
My dad asked as he made us breakfast

"I...stole...it. I'm sorry I didn't have money." I was scared that he was going to be mad but he barely reacted.
"From where?"  He asked.
"From a big food company. I wasn't going to steal from small businesses. I stole from the business around the corner who doesn't pay the food providers in foren countries enough"
I take a bit out of the toast my dad made me.

"In that case why don't we pay to money back to the land workers?" He smiled at me. I really liked this idea.
My dad was going to look up organisations who seam legit and donate money to them.

We both ate our breakfast and I packed my bags.
"So what's going to happen when I get back?" I was playing with my fingers. Scared to face the consequences. I was gone for 3 weeks. Haven't seen my friends.

"Well you will probably get detention. But besides that we just need to focus on your mental health"
I nodd and take my bags downstairs.
"When was the last time you self-harmed?"

I look down at my feet.
"Yesterday "
"Let's start there"
I hug my dad and teleport us outside hogwarts.
I was really nervous so my dad held my hand. We walked in together.
"I'll put your stuff back. Why don't go down the the headmistress office "

I wonder if I was going to talk to headmistress mcgonagall or to my godmother minerva.

I walk in and I'm immediately being hugged.
"Ooo I'm so glad your save"  minerva said with her harms around me.
"I'm sorry" I say as I Hug her back.
"Look at me y/n" she lifted up my face.
"Whatever your brain is telling you it's not true okay? You don't have to hide away from us." Tears form in my eyes.

"I'm scared minerva...I'm scared of myself, I'm scared to hurt someone. So I distanced myself and in the process of not wanting to hurt anyone. I Hurt everyone"

"Nobody is mad. Your dad did something similar. When he was feeling hurt he ran way from everyone he loved and gave jn to the darkness. But in doing so he came back to us. And look at him now..."

"But he's still a death eater and so am i"

She gave me a sympathetic look.
"Hold on for another year maybe 2. By then the darklord will be gone and you can live a normal life"

"But what if-" she shushed me.
"There are so many what if's. Don't let your live be controlled by them. Look at what is..."

"Not many things are surten...but what is surten is that you are loved and cared for and I will do anything to keep those 'what if's' from happening " my dad said as he walked In.

I do feel loved in this exact moment.
"Your friends are waiting down in the courtyard. Why don't you go talk to then while i tell minerva about the meeting "
I nodd and walk out.
I was really nervous. Especially to see fred, I Hurt him the most.

I walk out and see them talking.
Draco and pancy were sitting right next to them.

"Y/n!!" Harry was the first to notice.
Everyone rushed over me at once.
Almost making me fall to the ground.
"We missed you so much" hermione said as the groups Hug continued.

I didn't know I needed this so much.
Everyone warm imbrace made me emotional. I thought they would be mad. I thought they would hate me. But they aren't?

"I think we are suffocating her" George said.
"No, pls. Don't let go" I say before anyone moves. I could stand here for hours. Feeling all warm inside without a single thing on my mind.
"We won't. You are stuck with us by your side for ever" Ron said.
But eventually they had to let go.
Once they do I look down.

"I'm sorry I Hurt you guys. Especially you fred, that was never my intention" fred came next to me and put his arm around me.
"It's okay, I forgive you"
"You forgive me? Just like that?" I asked confused.

"Ofc we forgive you y/n. You're our friend. Besides I get what it's like being scared all the time. I'm the chosen one whatever that means. Just existing brings everyone in danger"
Harry said.
I never thought about it that way.
I'm not the only one who is scared all the time. I look at everyone around me.
I'm not the only one who is scared to hurt someone. I look at draco.

I'm not the only one....

Author: kinda short I know im sorry.