he saved me

snapes Chambers

When snape went to teach his class I started to think about what my dad said. He called me a pig, even when i was a kid he would call me pig. " Hey pig make yourself usefull and give me the bottle", " you little pig * slap* ".... and so on.

He was right. I'm fat , im ugly and nobody's cares or loves me. Not snape not anyone.
I decided to start writing in my diary, I wanted to cut but it seems professor snape took my razors out my bag.

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( pretend these aren't songs or things that actually exists)

I've drown out in sharpie where I'd take the scissors if that what it took for me to look in the mirror.
I've done every diet to make me look thinner so why do I still feel so god damn inferior. Can't be too loud, and can't be to busy. If I don't answer are they still gonna need me. Can't be too proud and can't think I'm pretty do they keep me around so their flaws just seem silly. Life of the fat funny friend.
.

I kept going and wrote another poem.

Stop saying I'm pretty, bc pretty girl don't spend their Friday nights only ik the kitchen. I stop saying I'm funny cause funny girl don't lock themselves in a room to cry. It doesn't matter how many friends i have. Bc the truth is I will sit down at 12 am and the only face I see around is me.
.

And another poem

I am broken on the floor and I'm crying crying, he has done this all before. But I'm lying lying to myself that ill find help. But I'm still broken on floor and I cant this anymore.

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I stopped writing as snape walked in

"Y/n what happend!! Why are you crying are you oke ?! " he said storming towards me
" I'm fine I just- its nothing " I said looking away while holding my diary.
" what did you write?"
"Ow , I usually write when I'm not feeling great or when something happend, it's kinda a diary and a feeling journal " I said while loosening my grip from the book.

" well...I like writing aswell, can I maybe take a look" snape said.
I slowly hand him over the book at the pages I just wrote.
As he starts to read I see the colour draining from his face, a tear form's in his eye and Rolls down his soft red cheeks. He quickly wiped it away as he didn't not want to show vulnerability.

"Y/n i-"
" I'm sorry professor I didn't want to make you cry"
" it's quit alright, no need to apologise. And while we are alone you can call me severus. There is no need to be formal, since you are going to stay in my quarters for awhile " he said kindly
" y/n do you really feel that way about yourself "
I just looked down not wanting to answer as a tear once again feel down my cheeks.

Severus turned my head towards him, in a slow and gently way. As he wiped away my tear he said " y/n you are a beautiful and talented witch, I can't imagine want you went through but pls don't keep doing this to yourself. You deserve much better care."

A small smile formed on my face. I haven't really smiled much the few months, but it seemed severus succeded multiple times.
" are there more poems or texts like this?" Severus asked me

" there are but I don't think you want to read that, they are a bit darker then this one. Most of then are about giving up . You know...on life." I say awkwardly.