he saved me

talks

"We need to talk"
I sat down on the couch. I actually wanted to go back outside and lay in the grass. Idk why but it feels better when I'm out in nature. It makes ny thought a little smaller. The smell of grass and the beautifull fireflies.

"You can't keep going like this!"
My dad sounded upset.
"Like what?" I knew he ment me sneaking out and well my attitude. But i can't help it.

My dad sighs and sits down next to me. He takes my hands and looks me in the eyes

"Your self-harming. Sneaking out, your attitude. Your a complete different person. Your grades are slipping...I can keep going. I'm not the only one who's worried. Even your boyfriend-"
I rip my hands away and stand up in anger.
"He's not my boyfriend anymore. I broke up with him. That's why I sneaked out earlier with draco. And j already told you. I'm doing want I need to do to survive!"
I wanted to leave my he grabbed my hand and pulled me in a  hug.

"Dad let go of me" I try to push him.
"No im going to comfort my daughter"
I pushed and push.
"Dad!" I try to fight it but I break.
I break out and cry outloud.

"I've got you" I wanted to disappear. I wanted to hid this part. I don't want to break this way.

Everything is just to much. I'm a death  eater. A witch with powers like no other. I'm a danger to anyone around me. I don't want to Hurt anyone I care for. So I push them away...

My dad let go of me to talk but I wanted to run.

"I'm sorry dad. I really don't want to talk" I teleported to the bathroom again. And made my blade appear.

Moaning myrtle left me alone this time. I slice my legs. My arms...
I hate that I broke Fred's heart and in doing so breaking my own. I hate that voldemort can just ask me to kill a whole city and I have no control.

When I'm done I go to my dorm and sleep. I was to tired to sneak out.

The next morning I wanted to get breakfast, in doing so I passed fred. I looked said and George pulled him in. So he wouldn't look at me.
They're all mad.

I eat my breakfast and quickly leave to the bathroom again. Seeing fred this was hurt so much. And seeing my friends pull away aswell.  But its my fault, I pulled away first.

My arms and legs are full of cuts. I healed a few with ny powers so I had room to make more. Once my thoughts calmed down I wrapped them up and went to class.

Bc im in the 6th year now I have N.E.W.T- level classes. So i don't have to follow every class. And I have a few hours of to study. I already know Alot. If I really tried I wouldn't be failing ny classes but I'm just so tired and I have other things on my mind.

I take a special interest in charms, D.a.d.a and transfiguration since we are learning about nonverbal spells. The only thing that actually speaks to my abilities

I have D.a.d.a but the non verbal spells we get teached I already masterd...without wand.

I was bored in class. Lupin was teaching incendio. But I could just make fire with my powers.

I dig my nails in my arm and my bandages turn red underneath my sleeves. I saw lupin looking at me and then he spoke.
"Miss snape. You look bored. Why don't you show the class how to do it"
I roll my eyes and they turn green. I put up my hand and make a fire appear. "Happy now?" I close my hand and my eyes turn normal.

"That's cheating!" Another slytherin said. I just ignored it and sat back down.

The lesson was ending so I packed my bags "miss snape stay behind "
Lupin asked.
"No thanks" I just walked out.

I had a free period, but I decided to go in on hagrids lessons outside.
Harry Ron and hermoine were there aswell...

Hermoine walked over to me.
"Hey" she said. I didnt feel like talking but I gave her a smile.
"I don't know what's going on with you. Put I know its probably not good. And pushing us away and breaking up with fred won't help...we love you y/n. You don't have to shut us out. Pls let us help" she said kindly.

"I don't need help" I walked to the side to have some distance.
I don't want to give them more troubles then they already have. I don't want to indanger them.

I saw the little niffler sneak out of hagrids hut and walking closer to us.
I've seem the little guy everyday when I come out here.

He comes a bit closer but he's shy.
"It's okay" I say quiet and go sit on my knees. I feel a warm sensation looking  at him.

I put my bag down as I remembered I had some treats I take a few out and wanted to put them infront of me on the ground. But the niffler walked up and ate out of my hand.
"Hey buddy. Nice to finally meet you" I say in a soft voice.

"See that's how you do it nice and gentle" hagrid said.
"How did you do that? Nifflers don't trust humans easily " Harry asked.
The niffler got scared and ran away.
I get up and face him
"Idk...I guess he just relates to me maybe?"

We're both alone. Hiding away from people.

The class left but I stayed.
The niffler returned and I sat down on the ground next to him

I duplicated the treats so he'd gave more. Hagrid came down sitting next to me.

"What do you mean he might related to you?" Hagrid asked.
"Alone...hiding away from everyone." I answer.

"Your not alone" Hagrid said. I looked at him
"I have to go" I get up and the niffler looked sad.
"Y/n wait" hargid said but I teleported again.

I went to lunch.
And then back to class.
Potions....charms....and transfigurations.

I was distracted the whole lesson. I was supposed to help mcgonagall out but I wasn't much use.

"Miss snape stay behind pls"
Ugh everyone wants to talk.

I wanted to give her te same response I gave lupin but I cant. She's my godmother.
"Sorry I didn't help out today" I say to her.
She sighed
"Everyone is worried about you"
"So everyone is talking about me behind my back How fun" I roll my eyes and want to walk away.

"You can get through this y/n. I'm here for you" I walk out .

The day went on and it was dinner but I didn't go. I sneaked out again.

I wish I could sneak out on my own thoughts.
I didn't know where to go. I couldn't go to the forest my dad would find me. So I kept walking through it. Until I got to this gigiantic lake.
The moon light shimmerd on the water. Beautiful sea creatures swam by.

I decided to go back and walked through the forest.  I heard someone say my name. I stick out both my hands and light them on fire.
I hear some walk closer. And make the flame bigger.
I see a figure and shoot fire at it.
"Stay away!" The figure comes in the light.

"Fred?!" I close my fist making the fire  dissappear.
"It's dangerous out here! Why are you here!" I scream at him.

"I heard your dad talking saying you might be here. So I came looking for you"
I walk up to him take his shoulder and teleported us right outside hogwarts.
"I don't need protection" I say to him.
"You heart me" He said.

I look down at my feet
"That's the last thing I wanted to do"

He wanted to talk but i didn't.
"You know the way" I say right before I teleporteded to my room again.