Where the Skies are Blue

Chapter Forty-Four:

Coming out of my last class, I'm greeted by Hunter who stands by the door waiting for me. One hand stuffed in his jean pocket while the other grips his backpack strap.

My heart races. Not in the way it used to. Back when it rose with excitement and love for him. Now it races out of fear. Out of the unknown of what he will do. How he will react. What his mood is.

I dip my head down nervously and try to move around him.

"I'm going to drive you home today." He says and grips both of my shoulders.

My body tenses. "I don't want you to drive me home." I say.

"Why?"

"Because, I really don't want to be anywhere near you."

He drops his grip on my shoulders. "I thought we were cool?" He scoffs. "Your mood swings give me fucking whiplash."

I try to not appear as scared as I actually am. I try to mask it. My arms fold tightly across my chest as I lift my head to look him in the eyes.

He rolls his eyes and leans forward closer to me. "Auden, just let me drive you home for fucks sake'. We've been getting along."

I shake my head. "No." I start to walk away but he keeps in step beside me.

"I want to talk." He pushes. "Just come with me."

People are looking at us. Clearly confused as to where Hunter and I stand. Their questioning eyes wondering if he and I might get back together. Except, I don't want anyone thinking that there is the slightest chance I would take him back. Not after what Wednesday told me. Not after everything. Not after all he's done. New Year's was a huge mistake. I don't know what I was thinking. I wasn't thinking at all. I was lonely, angry at Katherine, confused.

Hunter grips my hand tightly. "Come on. We're still friends, right?" He flashes me a smile.

My stomach turns. No. We could never be friends. I feel people looking. The grip he has on my hand makes the fear ooze out of me. My brain shuts down as I follow him blindly to his car. Not wanting to make him angry. It's better if I just listen to him. It's better if he believes we're friends.

He opens the door for me, and I hop inside. My body shakes in the seat as he gets inside.

"You told everyone we broke up?" I ask, my voice trembling as I move one hand over the other nervously in my lap. My eyes on him closely, trying to pick up on any switch in demeanor. Paying attention to all his movements.

"Yeah, I got sick of my friends and parents constantly asking what was going on."

"Oh..."

"I mean, it's not like we have any plans on getting back together." He says. "Right?"

"Mhm." I try to not flinch as he raises his hand to move through his hair.

His phone goes off in the cup holder and my eyes glance away briefly to see a message from Raven pop up. "Are you still hooking up with her?" I ask besides myself. I don't care. I don't need to know. It's none of my business. It'll only make me upset.

"Yeah." He says bluntly.

It stings. I bite down on my bottom lip. "Oh."

He looks at me. "It's not like that, Auden."

"Does she know we hooked up on New Year's?"

His jaw tightens. "No." He glances back towards the road. "I don't care about her, Auden. I care about you."

I shake my head and dig my nails into the palm of my hand.

"I still love you, Auden." Hunter says and my heart begins to thud louder in my chest. I grow more anxious. "Why did you have sex with me on New Year's? Do you still want to be together?"

"Hunter—" I swallow hard, as I fidget in the seat. "Please, can we not talk about this?"

I see his demeaner change. He grows more agitated. The switch in his facial expression. The way his grip on the steering wheel stiffens. I scoot myself closer to the door. "Why can't we talk about it now?"

"I'm tired. Today has been crappy." I attempt to keep my voice even and light hearted like I'm not freaking out inside.

Suddenly, Hunter is pulling off onto the side of the road near the coastline and my heart at this point is leaping from my chest. It's impossible to hide my trembling body. My hand goes for the door handle but he reaches out quickly and grips the arm that holds onto the handle. "Why are you freaking out?" He asks quietly, his eyes looking over me.

"I'm—I'm not. I'm tired."

He scoffs, then licks his lips. "Jesus, Auden, you're terrified of me." The expression he gives me shows that he gets off on it. That he feels no guilt about it. Instead, just pure ecstasy.

I yank my arm out of his grasp and throw open the car door, stepping outside. Hunter follows close behind me, blocking the path to the ocean from me. "The fuck is your problem? You pretty much jump my bones at New Year's, and now you're acting like you're traumatized. I didn't do anything, Auden. I thought we were getting along."

"New Year's was a mistake." I say, and his eyes narrow. We're alone on this road. Not another car in sight. I realize it's just us two out here. Nobody to pull over and help me if I need it.

"Bullshit." He takes a step closer to me, and I take two steps back. The ground is full of rocks that my foot nearly trips over. "You're full of shit, Auden."

"Hunter." I plead and go to take another step back.

He inhales sharply, then lifts his shoulders high before dropping them back down. "We can be friends with benefits." He closes the space between us and pulls me closer to him. "I think you secretly like it. I think you're fucked up like me." He grips my chin tightly between his thumb and index finger. "I'm not an idiot. I know your parents fucked you up just like mine fucked me up."

"I'm sorry about your dad, Hunter." I say calmly and genuinely, I mean it. I need to get away from him. That's what sucks though is even if I get away from him now, he's still always close by. I'll still see him every day at school, around town, and everywhere I go. There is no escaping him. Not here. "But I can't do this anymore, Hunter, please; I don't want to fight with you."

He shakes his head with a bitter laugh. I squirm away from him. "You can't do what anymore, Auden? What the fuck can't you do? We're not fighting. You're acting like a fucking victim as usual. I haven't done anything. I just wanted to talk."

"I don't want to talk!" I raise my voice. "I want you to leave me alone. There's nothing to talk about. New Year's was a huge mistake and I'm tired of this toxic cycle we're stuck in. It's not good for either of us."

"Fuck you." He seethes and gets in my face. He doesn't want to listen. He wants to scare me, to hurt me, to intimidate me. "That's your fault. I've tried to fix things. I've done everything for you."

I put my hands on his chest to put some distance between us. The dark cloud moves over his eyes. Any sort of getting through to him is now gone. Lost in the storm of his anger. There's no controlling it. Nothing I say will snap him out of it.

I'm attempting to back away from him. My foot reaches a slippery rock. Somewhere in between me trying to call out his name, and attempting to calm the situation, his fist lifts in the air. I think he's going to hit me somewhere that won't show. He's gotten so good at that. So, I don't protect my face. I don't anticipate the impact. The feeling of his fist lines perfectly to the side of my eye. My foot slips on the rock.

I tumble down to the ground. A large rock greeting my head. My face colliding with it. And my vision cuts to black before I feel anything.