Where the Skies are Blue

Chapter Thirty-Three:

My legs shake underneath the desk as my pencil continuously taps on top. Not hearing a single thing the teacher is saying, only obsessing over what Jacob said and if Hunter cheated, and going over all the things I might have overlooked, all the moments where Hunter and Raven seemed too touchy, too flirty, and freaking out over the fact that Hunter is ignoring me and that now he's angry.

A hand touches my leg, causing my legs to stop bouncing. I look over at Ender, who is giving me a concerned look. "Auden." His voice is quiet, but it calms me.

I felt so guilty about Halloween and terrified of Hunter finding out that, besides our class together, I've tried to distance myself from Ender. I can only imagine what Hunter would do if he ever found out about that night. He thinks I left the party abruptly because I didn't feel well. Not because I spent the night cuddling on the couch, watching movies with Ender.

"Sorry." I mumble and drop my pencil, then fold my hands over one another.

"Are you okay?" His hand moves from my leg, and I try to keep them from bouncing again.

I give him a stiff, lifeless smile. "Mhm." I pull down the sleeves of my sweater. I'm thankful for the cold weather. When it gets warmer, I'm not sure how I'll hide my arms.

His eyes follow my movements. "Auden."

"Hmm?" I prop my head up with the palm of my hand and look over at him.

He's looking at me deeply. We stare at one another silently, our eyes speaking with their own language.

I'm not okay. Not even close. I'm so lonely, so sad, so broken. I'm about to fall apart.

"Will Hunter be at football after school?"

I nod.

"I'll drive you home, okay?"

I feel myself hesitate. What if someone sees us? What if someone tells Hunter? I should stay away from him. Except, I feel myself nodding again, despite everything.

***

Ender opens the door for me, then moves around to his side. My eyes are scanning the parking lot, making sure nobody is looking at us. I bring my finger up to my mouth and begin gnawing away at my nail subconsciously.

We're quiet as he backs out and makes his way out of the school parking lot. My eyes remain on the window. I breathe in his familiar smell. The further we get from school, the more my body begins to relax.

"Are you hungry?" He then asks me.

I'm too nervous to eat. But my stomach grumbles as if on que, and that's the answer he needed. Minutes later, we're pulling into the parking lot of Cool Cat's. I've never eaten here before.

Clouds are rolling in. Fog moving in fast with it. I love the foggy days. When the air feels damp and the tops of the buildings are hidden. When puddles form in the streets, causing the streetlights to reflect off them. This weather makes my hair curl.

I walk beside Ender into the restaurant, where we're led to a booth. He slides in on one side and me on the other. Neither of us speak, neither of us knowing entirely what to say. I've gotten used to not talking. To keeping quiet. All my jokes have disappeared. Just like Hunter wanted.

Ender dips his head lower, his eyes on mine. "Hi," he says simply.

I exhale. "Hi."

He looks concerned for me, but a small smile grows on his face. "Hey."

My lips begin to curl as well. "Hi."

"Why do we always do this?"

A laugh escapes my mouth. It sounds strange. "I don't know." I'm starting to relax as I slump back in the booth.