Where the Skies are Blue

Chapter Thirty-Seven:

I've never been a fan of Christmas. Mostly because it's a constant reminder of the life I don't have nor will ever have. Going to school leading up to Christmas break was the worst. Kids would talk about fun trips they had planned with their families. They'd brag about all the toys that Santa would bring them.

Santa had never come to my house before, and I didn't understand why. What I was doing wrong. Was I a bad kid? Not a single present was ever left for me on Christmas. Christmas for me consisted of taking care of a shitfaced Katherine as she drank herself to death the entire day, sobbing about how horrible her life is. Telling me that if it weren't for me and my father, she'd be rich somewhere, living the life she was always meant to live.

Christmas is just another thing in life that has let me down. Disappointed me. There are no good memories. Only upsetting ones. Every year, I'm reminded of the lack of family I have. I've always been so jealous of the kids with loving, adoring parents who made Christmas special.

As Christmas approaches tomorrow, I find myself hiding out in my room, wishing it would just be over already. It's been a week since Hunter broke up with me. A week of us not talking at all. A week of me moping around the house. Moving through life like a zombie. I haven't been able to eat, my weight dropping back down.

Henry's tried to get me to come out of my room, but to no avail.

Christmas music is playing downstairs, and I place my pillow over my head, trying to drown out the depressing sound. I feel like the Grinch. Next, I'll be chanting about how much I hate Christmas and wallowing in self-pity. Actually, I've already been doing that.

Wow. I am literally the Grinch.

Sighing, I roll onto my back, then push off my covers.

I slowly make my way out of my cave, and venture down the stairs where I spot an overly happy Henry moving briskly around the kitchen, the smell of cookies filling my nose. I breathe it in deeply. He rolls some dough in his hand before placing it on a pan.

"Do you have to listen to Christmas music?" I grumble and fold my arms across my chest as I stand in the archway of the kitchen.

He perks up at the sight of me, a smile splitting wide across his face. "Auden, you're out of your room!" He moves a hand over the cookies on the counter. "I've made Christmas cookies for you. I was hoping it'd cheer you up."

"I'm not sad." I lie.

He points a finger at me. "You've been in a funk lately, I've noticed." Henry turns the music down a bit. "Want to help me make the last batch?"

I hesitate. "Where's Katherine?"

"Oh, she's out doing some last-minute Christmas shopping with Hunter's mom. They really hit it off those two. They've been spending a lot of time together."

Does he know for sure that it's Laura she's spending all this time with? Fear hits me. What if she's really been seeing George this whole time? No. There's no way he'd be interested in her. Don't think that. She might be able to fool Henry, but there's no way she can fool him.

"Come on." Henry waves me over.

I bring myself over to the counter, standing beside him. "What is there left to do?"

"Just roll the last of the dough into sections and place it on the sheet. I've got a batch that's about to be done." He walks over to the oven and checks them. "What's been up with you lately? You haven't left your room much. Are you and Hunter doing, okay?"

"We're fine."

"Things at school okay?"

"Henry." I sigh and roll some dough in my hands. "I'd rather not talk about it."

"Okay, okay. Noted." He pauses a moment then the timer goes off and he grabs the cookies out of the oven. "Well, there's a Christmas Eve party tonight at Hunter's. I assume you'll be there? We can all go together."

I stiffen. "No, I'm not going."

"Why not?"

"I have other plans."

"Oh, alright then." I can feel him watching me, and I try to focus really hard on making perfect circles out of the dough. My mind drifting off. Will Hunter be at the party? With Raven probably. So far, the news hasn't spread too rapidly that Hunter and I have broken up. Besides his friends, they've kept it under wraps for the most part. I don't know why Hunter hasn't gone around and told everyone yet. Not that I'm complaining. I'd like to keep it this way for as long as possible. "Well, Christmas Day, we can watch some movies. I got you and your mother some gifts."

I look at him. "You did?"

"Of course I did!" He gives me a funny look as if to say, duh. "It's Christmas, and you two are my family now."

I feel bad. I was not expecting any presents from him. "Henry, I didn't get you anything."

He frowns. "Auden, I don't need you to get me anything. I bought you presents because I wanted to. Just having you and your mother here is enough." He ruffles up my hair, and I give him a forced smile before turning my attention back to the cookies. "I've got a question for you though."

Oh, God. Hopefully he doesn't bring up marriage again, because there's still no way in hell I'm letting him propose to her. "What?" I ask hesitantly.

"Why do you call your mother Katherine?"

"That's what she wanted me to call her." I respond.

"Huh." His voice trails off. "Why's that?"

"I don't know, Henry. You'd have to ask Katherine that." Because she didn't want to be a mother. Because she's never been worthy of the name. I finish the last of the dough then place it into the oven.

Henry is working at icing the cookies, creating Christmas designs on each of them. "What did you and your mother do for Christmas before? Do you two have any traditions you want to do?"

"No." I reply shortly.

"None at all?"

"No, we've never been big on Christmas." I'm attempting to keep my responses vague. Hoping to not give away too much. I don't want him to marry Katherine, but I also don't want us to be out on our asses without a home and with nowhere to go. I also care about Henry, and I know how devastated he will be when he finds out what Katherine's plan is. He'll hate her. Hate me for hiding it from him. He'll probably believe I'm in on it too. "It never really feels like Christmas in Arizona." I blame it on the state and not for lack of parenting.

"Well, doesn't feel like it much here either. But I'll do what I can to make it the hap-hap, happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny fucking Kay."

My eyes widen as I look at him. A laugh escapes my mouth. "Um, what?"

He shoots me a shocked expression. "National Lampoon's Christmas? I quoted the movie."

"Wow, Henry, watch your profanity." I deadpan. "I've never seen that movie."

His mouth drops. "Auden, we need to watch that movie. I can't believe you've never seen it before. Christmas tomorrow; we're watching it."

I snort, a smile growing on my face. "Okay."

Despite everything, maybe this Christmas won't be so awful after all.