Chapter 56
September 21/2022
Dear Deary,
"One day you return to your usual environment and everything seems different. Only this is not a different environment. And you."
Scott Speеr.
I returned hundreds of times to one or another of my society and each time it did not suit me, because each time I returned different.
It is impossible to be your own when you change in a society that stands still. Even if you do not go anywhere, but simply change yourself in the place where nothing changes, this place ceases to suit you. I change constantly throughout my life, and if I now return to those people with whom I spent time a year ago, we will be completely different and will not understand each other as it was before.
Although I said goodbye to almost everyone in my life, there are times when life forces you to cross paths, but you are already completely strangers to each other. I've noticed this myself more than once. Even if my appearance remains unchanged, everything else changes and I turn not into the hero of this chapter of the book who does certain actions and utters remarks, but into the author who knows everything in advance while the interlocutor forever remains the hero of the chapters. Perhaps not everyone will understand what exactly such a comparison is for, because the heroes of books are also important, it is true, but even the heroes of fictional books change where changes are beneficial (although sometimes where they are harmful too), only life is not quite a book or not at all the same book as ordinary books, but the fact is that most people often do not change at all throughout their lives.
Of course, someone lives well without changes, I don’t judge, maybe it should be like that sometimes, but if you change, everything becomes different. But it is human nature to change. So why not change?
