Don't Forget About Me

18. Finding my place

“Wolf berries lemonade,” I sadly say and think of where the wolf berries lead me last time.

“Life goes on, Little Kate,” he tells me. “What happened is your life. It is you. Don’t live to regret, live to live. Life is a journey and you learned a lot in your short life so far. A lot more than either Mary, Starley or Princess had at your age. I just have one advice for you. Be you. Wishing to change makes you neglect the fact who you are.”

I lean back in my chair and sigh out loud. There are mysteries around Alpha Bear that I can’t figure out. He can’t be this calm and content with himself without a real adventure in the past that made him stand steady on the ground and secure in his choices. There’s a reason he became Alpha after all. I want to look deeper but the Spirits won’t let me see anything.

“There is so much I don’t know anymore,” I sigh. “I don’t know anyone anymore. Everyone I love is strangers to me and I am a stranger to them.”

“Youth comes with curiosity, Little One,” Alpha Bear says comforting. “There is a question and an answer in the right moment. Why don’t you give it some time to think what you really are here for? Let’s enjoy the sight until then.”

I already told him why I am here. He’s a tricky one. He won’t help me until I find the question he is waiting to hear. Exactly what is that? It’s not harder than I make it to be. He can’t trick me. Alpha Bear is famous for his sense of humour. I shouldn’t let it distract me. I know what to ask now, but we are in no rush since this isn’t the right moment to ask. I already know he will agree.

The Spirits are quiet and I travel deep within myself, comfortable that the old man in front of me seems to have the same mind set I do. A few minutes in his garden is all it takes for me to find the same sense of peace like the one I had on Rosalea. The plants are keeping the rest of the village out, like it’s an oasis. This is a peaceful place, a spot to relax and meditate. It’s like the Wolf Spirit is protecting this area and all the sounds from the Pack is tuned out, but still hear able like a light buzz in the background.

A special smell in the air teases my nostrils and I close my eyes to fully focus on it. I locate it to the west side of the garden and I wonder what’s so special about that plant. The Wolf Spirits tries to lure me out into the garden but I kindly decline their offer. This is Alpha Bear’s garden and it is he who decides when to guide me through it. He’s my master now.

“You have a beautiful smile.”

I open my eyes at his words and that’s when I notice how my lips have drawn into a genuine content smile.

“I’m home,” I say astonished. “I looked for this feeling on Rosalea. I lived with it daily, but something was missing. Then I couldn’t feel it after I left until right now. It feels perfect. All the pieces are coming together. I’m supposed to be here, right now and feel this.”

I feel strong, suddenly. My heart is beating and it feels like my whole body is going to explode. The whole world crashes into my system and I gasp loudly as it passes through me. Awareness I never imagined before contaminates my system and makes the world spin around me. It spins faster and I feel the strength build up inside of me.

All the Ninjan Wolf Spirits are passing through my body in an attempt to make my Spirit stronger. They don’t like the weak Rosalea attitude I’ve grown so accustomed to. I need the power of a Ninjan and they are welcoming me to join them, finally.

It feels like my whole body is on fire as I see the world in black and white with sparkles of blue erupting from me. I wonder what they are doing. I trust the Spirits completely, but I feel a little bit scared of the end result. I like the way I am. Are they changing me? It can’t be that they are giving my wolf back?