Gintama: It Is Love!

I'm A Mess (Okita Sougo)

Tomo stopped in his steps, (Y/N) never cried. She was a woman who never gave up, always seeing the better in everything. Even though she has been rejected countless times by Sougo, she never cried as much as she was crying now.

Quietly, Tomo stood behind her with the umbrella high up on her head– protecting her from the rain.

"....Tomo, what took you so long?" (Y/N) wipes her tears away and laughs lowly, "I thought I would freeze to death out here."

"I'm terribly sorry, miss." Tomo looks away, eyebrows furrowed slightly. "I always fail to do my duty when the miss needs me the most."

"It's okay, Tomo." She assures him, her eyes looking ahead with sadness in them. "I learned something today, too. As expected, Sou-chan always gives me the best lessons...."

Tomo was clueless. Indeed,what had happened during the time he was away? Surely, (Y/N) couldn't have gone to anyone else but Sougo. Tomo was curious— what exactly went down that made (Y/N) lose all her confidence like this?

He didn't know— readers will never know too. Only Bisha-chan knows,

"Tomo, let's go home. I'm feeling pretty tired today," (Y/N) says with a fake smile as she stands up, Tomo could only nod and escort her— trailing behind her quietly.

Everything's been so messed up here lately
Pretty sure he don't wanna be my baby
Oh, he don't love me, he don't love me
He don't love me, he don't love me
But that's okay
'Cause I love me, yeah, I love me
Yeah, I love me
Yeah, I love myself anyway
Hey

"Miss?"

Tomo knocked once. Twice. Thrice. She still didn't answer— so he entered and found her at her usual spot, buried under the covers of her large bed.

"The meeting for today—"

"Cancel it, Tomo."

(Y/N)'s voice was strange, it was weak and strained— Tomo sadly nodded, "I shall inform them. Miss, do you need anything?"

"No, nothing." She replies softly, "Thanks, Tomo. But, I need some time alone."

After sensing that Tomo had disappeared, (Y/N) uncovered the covers from her head and let out a deep sigh. Her half-lidded eyes stare at the ceiling with a lost gaze, eyebrows furrowed together when she feels the tears climbing back up again.

"Am I that unlovable?"

She whispers, her voice breaking. Her chest felt heavy, her heart felt like it was being crushed— was love always this painful? No matter it was, for (Y/N) love was something out of a fairy tale. It was something she dreamed of feeling, she yearned to learn how it feels to actually be loved. When she fell for Sougo, she instantly knew that it was love— but reality comes in, that not everyone's love comes true.

— and love is harder than it seems.

Her pillow was wet from all the tears it caught, she needed comfort. She was a mess— a total mess. Her insecurity had reached its peak, her doubts were finally starting to pile up, and the negative thoughts whispering in her head were getting louder and louder that she just wanted to get away from everything, from all of it.