Then and Now: A Harry Styles Fanfiction

Chapter Forty-Three

“She ruined my life,” I whispered, “My past is supposed to make me stronger, but every time I think about what she caused, the things I did because of the words she said, make me hate myself even more. I’m trying so hard to forget and move on, but I can’t do it when everything I do reminds me of those days. The days when I didn’t want to live. Yesterday a lot of things hit me, and I broke. I’m sorry you had too see that Harry. I completely understand that you want nothing to do with me because I’m absolutely—“

“Don’t you dare.” Harry’s voice suddenly spoke up, “Don’t you dare say you’re disgusting.”

“You don’t—“ I started, but Harry cut me off again.

“You are the strongest person I know. You are absolutely beautiful and your life is worth something, Jenna. It’s worth so much. I love you so much.” Harry said, his voice firm as he faced me.

I couldn’t look at his eyes. Those green eyes that I loved so much, I couldn’t look at them and see whatever emotion they held. Harry’s words were powerful, but they couldn’t erase the years of hurtful words.

Harry’s hand lightly grasped my chin, moving my face so I could look at him directly as he spoke. I stared at every part of his face, everywhere but his eyes.

“Jenna, look at me.”

I felt physically incapable of meeting his eyes. It wasn’t until I heard the seriousness in his voice and his warm hands pressed against my cheek that I got the courage to.

I expected disgust, pity, nothing really good. But instead I saw a gaze that held nothing but love. He was looking at me as if I was the most important person in the world, that I was so precious.

I never thought this would happen to me. I never thought I would find somebody to love that would me back this much. To be there and hold me when I cried. To hold my hand when I needed him to, to make me smile when I was feeling down. I never expected this. Never.

Before I can stop myself, a tear slipped down my face. Instead of cursing myself for being so weak, I felt okay. I didn’t feel the need to sob uncontrollably and wonder why I hadn’t ended my life years before. I felt as if so much weight had been lifted off my shoulder, I felt lighter.

“Thank you for trusting me.” Harry whispered, his arms wrapping around me.

For the first time in forever, I completely let my emotions out, trusting Harry with every fiber in my being as he held me, comforted me as the sobs racked my body.

I had patched the holes that littered my soul, or so I thought I had. But as Harry held me, saying nothing, yet still understanding the internal pain I was going through. I felt like I was being healed though, the feeling of his lips ghosting over the top of my head and his finger continuously rubbing my wrists were in a weird way, helping me heal, helping me to properly mend myself.

More than anything though, I felt safe.

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Wow. This was such a hard chapter to write. I can’t even explain it. I really hope you all enjoy it. I promise the story will get a bit lighter from here, but it’ll still have its moments.

 

This story not only hit 400K reads in the past week, but it exceeded that and hit 474K reads. That is almost 80K reads since my last update. I literally cried when I saw that (shoutout to one of my best friends Marion for putting up with my screaming and crying on a day to day basis) I guess I really just want to thank you guys for loving this story as much as I do, because it really does mean everything to me.

 

Q: Movie you’re most excited to watch this year?

 

A: Has to be a tie between the new Percy Jackson movie and the Mortal Instruments movie. They both come out in August. (Also, the One Direction 3D movie, but I figure that’s obvious)

 

CG: 125 votes, 50 comments, 420 fans?

 

~Shakira