Love, Not War (Book 2)

Chapter 85

"Apparently he committed a crime or something. I don't know" Felix replied. "But that's like, impossible. I know my dad."

The headache he got at that time was so painful that he couldn't concentrate on what they were saying. He expected to remember more after he woke up but he didn't. There were no dreams, no flashes, nothing. His memories were still incomplete and he felt like he was forgetting something very important.

Felix couldn't bear to remain in that house any longer so he packed up some stuff and decided to find another place to stay until he finds out about his past.

Jeongin didn't know if he should tell Felix the truth or not. "Do you hate Chris, Felix?"

Chan's handsome face surfaced in Felix's mind and his heart went soft. Chan was his weak point. He wanted to say yes but his lips wouldn't move. He wanted to hate Chan but his heart hurt at just the thought of it. His body yearned to hug Chan tight and cry out all his anger, frustration, and pain. He wanted to bury himself in Chan's strong arms, safe, hidden from his problems and his over-thinking.

"I don't know" he mumbled, pursing his lips.

"You shouldn't hate him you know" Jeongin continued when Felix didn't answer. He recalled the way Chan threatened him that night and he shivered. Although he didn't want Felix to get back with Chan, he also didn't want to face Chan's wrath so he decided to tell Felix the truth. "Your parents murdered Chan's parents, Felix" he said. "That's why your dad is in prison"

Felix froze, staring wide eyed at Jeongin. His breath siezed and he felt as if his entire world was turned upside down.

"W-What did you say?" he stuttered, not wanting to believe it.

"You can search it up if you want" Jeongin said. "All the answers you want regarding that should be on the internet"

Felix didn't waste a single second. He fished out his phone from his pocket and searched his father's name. What he saw made him nearly drop his phone. His eyes went wide and his breathing became laboured. Felix's feelings were akin to an earthquake. They kept rumbling and cracking him up within as he saw the words 'Mr Lee' and 'Murderer'.

Tears filled his eyes as he shook his head in disbelief. "N-No, no t-this, this is not true"

He kept on reading.

Chan's father was a renowned journalist. The best of his time. Felix's dad was involved in fraud and embezzlement of funds. He also refused to pay his workers on time. Chan's father found out and wanted to expose him but Felix's dad set fire to the Bangs house. Chan was rescued and uninjured. Unfortunately, his father died in the fire and the mother suffered some burns, had a heart attack and died shortly after.

The information unearthed another part of Felix's buried memories. His vision blurred as images of the past flashed in his mind.

It was a moonlit night. He was snuggled between Chan's legs, leaning against Chan's strong chest, surrounded by three jars of glowing fireflies and cool air. It seemed like a romantic evening. Chan had his arms wrapped around Felix's waist as they stared at the stars above.

And then he said to Chan; "Tell me about your dad"

Chan didn't want to at first. Felix could remember the way he stiffened but he later relaxed and shared his story. He could recall some of Chan's words.

"Dad found something about them which could destroy their entire business. They first sent him money so he wouldn't publicize it but he didn't accept the money. They doubled the amount and tried again but he still declined. The owners of the company came to our home themselves to persuade him with five times the amount they gave him before but he still refused. He said he would be selling his own dignity and career once he accepts the money. Dad sent them out and warned them to never disturb him again. I thought my dad was brave. I thought nothing could happen to him. He was so strong. He was my hero, Felix"

Recalling Chan's words made the tears Felix had been keeping at bay pour down his cheeks like a waterfall.

"That same night, they burned our house to the ground" Chan whispered. "I was lucky to escape unscathed. Dad was the one who got me out but mum was still inside so he went back to get her. Neighbours came to help and firefighters arrived but they could only get my mum out and she had burns all over her back and arms. The roof of the building crashed down and Dad never made it out"

"Fuck" Felix cursed. "Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck!"

"By the time they put out the fire, my dad was already burned to a crisp. I watched them carry his blackened body in the ambulance. His eyes were wide open and the look of anguish and pain was plastered on his face. I could see it"

Felix's chest tightened with every word. He clutched his shirt tight as he tried to breathe.

"And I promised right there and then that I would avenge him. I would make those bloody people pay for taking my dad away from me. No matter what"

Felix's dad was able to get away with it for years until Chan grew up, sought revenge, exposed, and imprisoned him five years ago.

Felix saw that it was around the same time he lost his memories and he knew that everything had to be connected. Tears gushed down his cheeks as he went down on his knees and grabbed Jeongin's hand. "Jeongin, tell me the truth" he cried. "Please, I can't take this anymore. I need to know what truly happened. Did Chan get into a relationship with me to get his revenge? Is that why we broke up? D-Did he use me?"

He remembered the words Chan said to him that night.

"When you're with me Felix, I forget how lonely I get. Every discomfort, every pain just vanishes. Sometimes, I don't even understand how you became so important to me. Despite how I didn't like you at first, you wormed your way into my heart and it's like you're hell bent on staying there"

"And I don't intend to stay just in your heart Felix. I intend to dominate all of you. I want to be in your mind, your body, your soul. I want to leave my trace on every part of you. So much that all you'll think about is me. I want to be your very world"

What part was true and what was not, Felix didn't know.

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