Ninjago Oneshots

"Those who smile brightest are the saddest"

Just a forewarning, this chapter has subjects that might make you uncomfortable. if that is a problem, you can skip this chapter. Occasionally, something from this chapter might come up in future chapters, but you're not missing much.

Jay P.o.v.

I was staring out the window. I wasn't looking at anything, I was just lost in thought. I was thinking about Lloyd when we found him. I had heard Lloyd's screaming, it was horrible. It was full of pain. Lloyd probably doesn't know what he was screaming, but he had been screaming something that had stuck with me. I almost cried when I heard it. It was full of pain and suffering. He had screamed, "Make it stop!" over and over again. What he wanted to stop was anyone's guess. He still refused to talk to anyone but Kai and Misako about it. They weren't talking either. Whatever. I didn't need to know. I found myself repeating Lloyd's words to myself over and over again. Make it stop, make it stop, make it stop. They fit my life perfectly. I wanted my brain to shut up. To stop working. But it never did. 

"That's because no one likes the sound of your whiney voice. They would be happy if you never spoke again." I covered my ears.

"Pathetic. Nya's probably dating you out of pity."

"No, no, no! Go away!" I said loudly.

"Jay?" I knew that voice. It broke my heart. I turned and saw Lloyd standing in the doorway. Lloyd was painfully thin. He was struggling to gain back weight. His curly blond hair was completely messed up. His voice was still weak. His shirt, usually skin tight, was baggy, and he had bags so dark they looked like bruises under his eyes. His face was full of concern. I suppressed a sigh. Even when Lloyd was hurt, he managed to look better than I did on my best days.

"Are you okay?" Lloyd's eyes always shone with whatever he was feeling at that moment. They shined with concern at the moment, but I didn't believe he cared.

"I'm fine." I lied. I felt bad for lying, but I didn't trust myself to not cry. Lloyd sighed, then winced.

"No I'm not, but if he knew...."  Lloyd crossed the room and sat down on my bed with difficulty. Wincing, he reached over and grabbed my arm. It was my turn to wince, but Lloyd didn't notice. Lloyd steered me closer and patted the bed next to him. I sat down but kept my face turned away.

"No, your not." I looked away.

"I'm fine. Just leave me alone." I stared out the window again. Lloyd sighed again, rubbing his side.

"Okay." He didn't sound convinced. "Two things before I go. One, promises to talk to me if you need anything." I didn't say anything. "Promise me." Lloyd insisted, giving me his puppy eyes.

"I promise."

"Good. Now help me up." I helped him up.

"What about thing number two?" I inquired.

"That was thing two." I laughed and got the door for Lloyd. Lloyd hugged me. Pulling away, he said,

"I'm just trying to help you, man. I know you know that." I nodded and shut the door behind Lloyd. I tried to stop the tears, but they came anyway. I climbed into bed, pulling the covers up to my chin. Eventually, I gave up and rolled over onto his stomach, and buried my face into the pillow. I wasn't sure when I fell asleep, but a knock on his door woke me up.

"Dinners ready!" Nya's voice called.

"I'll be out in a minute!" I called, wiping off my face where the tears dried on

"Okay!" Nya's footsteps retreated down the hall. I dragged myself to the mirror. I grimaced. My hair was sweaty and stuck to his face. I was pale, with dark bags under my eyes, despite the sleep I just got. I pulled a sweatshirt on a went down to the kitchen to eat. I ignored the weird looks everyone was giving me. Loyd watched me all through supper. Kai tried to get him to eat, but he just picked at his food while watching me. I hurriedly washed the dishes after supper and retreated to my room. I went to take a shower. As I pulled off my clothes, I thought about why I started to wear long sleeves all the time. It had been a while since I had worn short sleeves. It was partly because I was self-conscious of my looks, which is what I told everyone who asked, but mostly because of the cutting. I did it once, on accident when I dropped a knife. I cursed out loud, but it felt good. It numbed the pain of reality. I knew it was bad, but that night, before my shower, I did it again. And again. And again. Until my arm was covered in blood, and completely numb. Tonight was no different. I turned on the shower and began. I accidentally re-opened an old scar, for which I cursed. I tended to try to avoid bleeding as much as possible. Stepping into the shower, I let the water wash the blood away. Watching it go down the drain, I sat down. The water continued running, but I didn't mind. I wasn't sure how much time passed. Eventually, I got up and turned off the shower. I quickly toweled off and got dressed. As much as I did it, I still hated the scars.