Under This Roof

Chapter 45

26 September 2014.

As much as I hate to think of myself as Harry's temporary roommate, that is in fact what I am. And Harry's real roommate and friend will be arriving back from Dublin today. But since his original ticket back was on the 3rd of October, and I have booked the apartment until the afternoon of the 1st of October, Rian -Harry's roommate- will be staying in a hotel until I leave. This is what he told Harry. Had he known that we are only using one room, he might have changed his mind about it. Not that it would have been legally okay anyway.

We will leave to Caversham tomorrow morning for the weekend. Today, Harry wants to pick up Rian from the airport and spend some time with him when he arrives. Although Rian has no idea what is going on between Harry and me, he told Harry yesterday that he would like to meet the girl who was staying in his room in his absence. So Harry thought we could all go out to dinner and I could meet him.

When I get back home from work, I take a shower and a small nap. I read a little. Then, I start getting dressed. While getting dressed, I hear the door opening and Harry's voice.

"Lauren?"

I close the door to my room. "I'm in here Harry."

"Come in, Rian." I hear Harry saying from the corridor.

I can imagine Rian crossing his eyebrows at what happened. "Why did you have to do that?" He might ask.

I hear their footsteps outside of my door. I can tell that they are going in to Harry's room.

"It feels so weird not being capable of entering my room." I hear Rian saying. Shut up, Rian. It is still mine for now.

I finish getting dressed and open the door. Harry and Rian are standing in the corridor waiting for me. Rian directly smiles at me. He is very blond, has blue eyes, a relatively short figure, especially standing next to Harry.

Harry introduces us.

"Lauren, Rian."

He turns to Rian.

"Rian, my girlfriend; Lauren."

I feel my heartbeats accelerating. This is the first time Harry has introduced me as such. It is the first time I hear it coming out of his mouth. I am the battlefield of completely opposite feelings fighting inside of me. Feelings of happiness, excitement and love on one end. And feelings of sadness, fear and confusion on another. Girlfriend. That is right. But till when?

Rian seems quite impressed to hear that. He did not expect it. I can tell from his face.

"Pleasure to meet you, Lauren."

"You too."

****

"So, Lauren. Has Harry been his annoying self all this time? Or was he acting a little more gentle around you?"

"First one." I answer Rian, laughing.

"That's what I thought."

Harry was right. Rian's accent is fun to hear.

"He is tough to get to know, this one. I hated him when I first met him." he motions with his head towards Harry, who smiles almost shyly and reminds me of how much I love his dimples. It is good to know I am not the only one. "But once you do get to know him, which obviously you have done, you start to understand him better."

"How long have you two been roommates?" I ask.

"A long time." Harry answers.

"Since Harry moved to London. Almost four years ago now." Rian continues.

"Wow." I exclaim.

"Yes. Four years, and he still does not call me his girlfriend. You have been here for a couple of months and he calls you that." Rian clicks his tongue, jokingly. We all laugh. I love how Rian speaks genuinely, carefree and how he knows Harry quite well. I enjoy the dinner much more than I thought I would.

"Sorry if I am intruding here, but does this-" he points at both of us, "mean that I can have my room back starting tonight?"

"Sorry." I reply. "Still need the closet."

"I bet you do." Rian says chewing on a bite. 

Harry and I exchange looks. Having finished his plate, he puts his arm around me.

"Okay. Alright." Rian holds up his hands. "But let's keep it at that."

Harry and I start laughing. And that is how we spend the rest of the night. Laughing. We laugh everything we are feeling off. Rian asks no questions about where we are going. He simply enjoys our company and lives the moment. And being around him made me do the same. He forced that spirit onto us and the whole dinner. At the end of the night, when we want to separate ways with Rian, I give him a hug.

You have no idea how much I needed that, Rian. I have no idea if I will ever see you again. And it breaks my heart. But that for sure was one nice night that I desperately needed. It is hard to let you go. Because I am afraid once we separate, there is no one to make Harry and I forget about our awaiting fate.

****

27 September 2014.

I wake up at 8:00 in the morning.

Four days left.

I push the thought away. I get up and make sure my backpack includes everything I need today and tomorrow. I add underwear and a comfortable dress. That should be enough.

Harry does not take anything with him. He says he always keeps anything he might need at his parents' house and a few clothes. 

I start driving to Caversham. Harry and I discuss few nice topics. We discuss religion, we discuss his insights on our society; and he has quite a few. Whenever we are silent for a few minutes. The air is heavy. Before today, Harry and I could spend the whole time silent without feeling awkward about it. But not today. What is this feeling? Why can't I shake it off?

We finally arrive. I park in front of the house, remembering how it was all filled with people in black the last time I was here. I look over at Harry, checking if he looks alright.

"Do you need a minute?" I ask when I see the way Harry is looking out the window.

 He nods.

I get out of the car, take out my backpack and the cake we brought with us and I wait for Harry outside. I lean on the back door of the car.

After a couple of minutes, Harry gets out from the door next to me. He takes the cake from my hand to his, and holds my hand with the other one. Without looking at me, Harry tightens his grip and says:

"I only had to spend a couple of minutes alone to figure out; I could do this much better with you around."