13 September 2014.
Harry has an exam on Monday and has spent all his night yesterday being there for me. So it is no surprise to me when I open my eyes in the morning and look over to find him sitting by his desk, completely submerged in what he is reading. He does not notice that I am up.
I remember Harry's words yesterday and they ring in my ears, over and over.
"Tonight, we do not separate." He said when we reached the corridor's end. I remember how his words made me let go. How they made me feel free. Even though there was no question in his words. He was assertive. He was not worried about my reaction. He was right. He knew.
I keep looking at him for a moment before talking. I feel good and peaceful and happy.
I feel truly happy.
I look at him when he is reading. I cannot see his face, but I can see him there. His figure, his body. I can feel his presence. I can feel his mind. I remember how Harry's eyes make me feel. How his touch make me feel.
I am entirely and completely taken by this man.
I look at him when he is reading and think to myself; I could not be luckier for going through that night when I decided to let myself go and act upon my feelings. When I decided to let myself fall.
****
"Isn't it a little bit overwhelming, dating someone you cannot run away from?" I ask Harry while he is getting dressed.
"No." his answer is short and direct. He does not even look at me. No one can be as straightforward as Harry.
"Do you feel like it is, for you?" He turns to me and asks.
"Surprisingly, no. But maybe that is just because we haven't fought yet."
"We haven't?" Harry asks ironically, reminding me that all we did at some point during the summer was to fight.
I laugh. "I guess you're right."
"I know I told you that we do not have to go through all the steps anymore." Harry says holding my hands tight, before he leaves to study at the university with his friends. "But I would still like to take you out."
"We will do that on Monday, after your exam."
I know Harry has been very busy lately and I do not want to ruin his plans. And to be honest, I do not really mind the way Harry and I spend time. It would be nice to go out, for sure. But this place, right here, just feels great to me.
"Sounds perfect. And maybe we can do something a little nicer next weekend."
Harry kisses me and leaves.
****
I meet with Claire for lunch. She asks me about my relationship with Harry and I tell her everything. Then we move on to discuss her college, her family, her relationship.
"Liam and I were thinking of doing a road trip next weekend." she tells me.
"How nice! I love road trips! Where to?"
"Castle Combe. Have you heard of it?"
"No. I haven't. Is it far?"
"It is about two to three hours away. But it is the perfect getaway."
Claire takes a bite of her sandwich. She opens her eyes and I realize she wants to say something. She swallows her bite fast.
"Oh my God, Lauren."
"What?"
"You should come. You and Harry."
Harry did say in the morning that we should plan something nice for the upcoming weekend. But I am not sure if he meant alone. However, Claire's suggestion is pretty exciting to me.
"I will talk to Harry about it when I see him today."
"Lauren, I've been wanting to ask you. How does it feel dating someone you cannot be away from?" Claire asks and I start laughing, then tell her about the conversation Harry and I had.
****
When Harry and I speak at night, I am happy to see him pretty excited for the trip as well. So Claire and I decide to start planning for the getaway tomorrow.
A little later into the night and after Harry and I had a nice dinner, Conall comes by.
I say hi and remember what Harry told me last time, about Conall and Zina. And I am a little bit curious so I ask. 'Conall, how is Zina?'
"She's alright." he answers, a little nervous.
"It doesn't seem like there is a future there." he continues.
"Oh."
Conall sits down and I sit in the opposite chair. Harry is looking at the two of us waiting for some breakage of silence.
'"I'm sorry to know that. You two seemed good together." I say after a minute.
"Not true." Harry directly answers. I turn to him, my eyes widening. Shut up Harry. He looks like he is hurting.
"I mean Conall, you're better off without her to be honest." Harry pushes. Conall is silent.
"You were not happy. Am I right?" Harry asks him.
"I wasn't. But... but it still felt good to have someone near you and who you can share things with."
"What is the point of having someone near if they do not make you happy?" Harry asks.
"Never mind, Harry." Conall ends the conversation. There is some tension building up in the room.
"Are we going to study or what?" Conall asks and Harry stands up to go get his book.
"I will leave you two to it then." I say and rush after Harry.
I see him coming out of his room and whisper to him: "Does Conall know?"
"Know what?"
"About us. I was not sure how to act there."
"He doesn't. I haven't had the chance to talk to him about it. And I suck at talking about these things to be honest."
"There is nothing to talk about. You just need to tell him that we are dating so it wouldn't be awkward the next time."
Harry nods.
"And also, be easy on him. I know you dislike not talking honestly but just give him some time before you say all these things."
Harry nods again, kisses me, wishes me a goodnight, and goes to the living room.
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