Under This Roof

Chapter 33

11 September 2014.

I spent all my time yesterday at work for the show try-out. It took us all day and night to do the test and fix all the problems we encountered. When I went back home extremely late, Harry was already asleep. He did not text me because he knew how busy I am these days. And I appreciate it.

I slept in today. In fact, today is off. The whole team will simply be resting at home and gathering all their energy for tomorrow.

I take out my clothes for tomorrow and iron them. I choose a very unique tight knee-long dress that I brought with me specifically for this occasion. I take out the jacket and the high heeled boots. I choose the right accessories and put everything on the desk in my room.

I am so excited, yet so nervous. This show is a huge step for me.

At around 1pm, I leave to meet Claire for lunch nearby her college. I hand her both tickets and we talk a little bit about what has been going on. Afterwards, I head to the store for the appointment I took to fix my phone's screen and leave my phone there for a couple of hours. During this time, I go to a nearby mall to do some shopping and pass by that shoes shop I wanted to go to since I got to London.

Since I got to London.

Three months ago.

For the summer.

Which is almost over.

I try to keep my mind away. It has been good lately. There is no need to worry about what is coming. During the last couple of days, every time that I feel overwhelmed by these feelings and start to panic, I go through the same conversation in my head over again:

Would it make it any better for you Lauren, if you were to see him everyday but not to date him?

No.

Would it make it easier for you to leave if things lately had just been awkward between the two of you?

No.

Would you be able to see him but not to think about him romantically, and to control yourself for all the days that are coming before you leave without breaking this promise?

No.

Then there is simply no escaping this fate, Lauren.

****

"Are you ready for tomorrow?" Harry asks me at that place in the end of the corridor where we separate, before we go to sleep. 

He spent some time tonight telling me all about his day and how he has been assigned to help in grading student assignments. He told me how Maria and him spent a good deal of time contacting people and obtained a couple of responses. They set meetings with them for next week. He was pretty excited to share how his day went and I was very happy to listen.

"I think I am."

"Of course you are. Are these the clothes you'll be wearing?' Harry asks tilting his body aside and looking towards my room.

"Yes. Come check them out."

Harry and I enter the room and I show him the dress first, Harry holds it against my body and shakes his head.

"Can't wait." He says making me blush.

I move on to the jacket, the boots, the purse. When I show him the accessories, Harry takes one of the pair of earrings in his hands, tucks my hair behind my ear on one side, and puts the earrings against my ear to check them out.

Harry's hands moving so close to my face and neck makes me a little nervous. I want him closer.

He shakes his head. 'Let me see what other earrings you have.' 

I want to yell at Harry for making me feel like I made a wrong choice of earrings for the biggest day of my life so far. And I want to tell him that he knows nothing about fashion and he should not be giving me any advice. Not now. Not when a pair of earrings are a decisive factor into whether or not someone might be offering me a job tomorrow.

However, a second opinion, no matter how unprofessional, will not harm.

And what if he chooses something nicer by mistake? Harry's honesty might turn out to be in my favour this time.

I open my box of earrings for him.

Harry starts choosing some pairs, looking at the dress, then putting them against my ear. He does that for a couple or three more pairs until his facial expression changes and holds one of them happily.

"That is the one you should wear."

I take it forcefully from him: "And you know that because you're an expert in-"

I stop my sentence when I look at the pair he chose. Harry chose my favourite pair. I do not really see how they match the dress or the other accessories, and I still have to decide on that. But for a moment, it warms my heart that Harry liked my favourite pair the most.

"I'll think about it." I tell him.

Harry moves one of his hands to take the earrings from mine and puts them on the desk. His other hand slowly holding my neck where he tucked my hair and tried the earrings. He moves his face closer.

"You really need to get some rest." He says, still holding my face, still moving closer.

"I do."

"I'm not sure I can let you go."

"You have to." I do not have an idea how words are coming out of my mouth. I am trying to stay calm. But Harry's hands on my face for sure sense everything that is going on.

"Tonight I do." Harry says smiling, removes his hands slowly and steps backwards.

I was waiting for him to kiss me again. But he didn't. So I think of grabbing him.

"I know you didn't get any sleep last time. Tonight you need it." Harry says teasing, referring to the last time he kissed me. How proud! And mean!

And smart. 

Harry knows everything he is making me feel. And he is enjoying it.