Chapter 8- Trauma and mistake

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The sound of his words made Marinette's body stiffen. She didn't like the tone of his voice when he said them for some reason. It felt different, almost colder. His tone was nothing like how he sounded when he mentioned her to Ladybug.

Marinette was perplexed as to what had changed. She knew what she'd done was stupid and would probably haunt her for the rest of her nights, but why was he so upset with her?

Marinette nodded and slowly sat down, letting out a small gasp as she did so. Chat Noir furrowed his brows in confusion but decided not to say anything about it. Chat Noir knew Marinette would speak to him if she needed or wanted to. He also couldn't afford to get distracted at the moment.

They needed to talk.

The conversation was long overdue.

It was now about their kiss.

Chat Noir sighed as he thought of what to say. He had thought about it on the way to Marinette's room. While Ladybug made perfect sense as always when she said he had to be honest with her, he couldn't help but think being honest would be a mistake. He was afraid if he spoke with honesty, he would lose Marinette. And the last thing he wanted was to lose his princess.

I mean, what exactly could he say? 'Marinette, the kiss meant the whole world to me, and I realized that I want nothing more than to be with you. I think we have a real connection like the one I have with Ladybug. Yes, Ladybug. I need you to know that I am still in love with her. I can't and won't ever forget her. I love you both. Be my girlfriend?' Yeah, no. The truth was definitely not it. Marinette would think he was a scumbag and a player.

"Marinette, about the kiss, I-" Chat Noir hesitated. Was this really the best way to go? Yes, it was. He would say anything not to lose her.

"Marinette, I am so sorry about the kiss. I don't know what came over me. I was not thinking straight. Please don't think I was trying to take advantage of you or anything of the sort. The kiss was an accident, a- a mistake. It meant nothing. You are my friend, and I would never want to ruin our friendship."

'Ouch, that hurt.'

Marinette felt her heart plummet to the ground. No, even worse, her heart fell to the ground and then was stomped and tap danced on till it shattered into a billion pieces.

The designer felt her eyes water but quickly wiped them before any tears could fall. Luckily, Chat Noir hadn't been looking at her. He couldn't look at her.

The bluenette's thoughts went back to moments prior. Marinette tightened her jaw, holding back tears as she wondered which situation had hurt worse. The assault was no longer the only thing that would haunt her sleep. While it had been a close call, the truth was the man didn't get father than touching the button of her jeans and hurting her back. Chat, on the other hand, had ripped her heart out of her chest with just words. Nothing hurt more than for your first kiss to be called an accident.

"A mistake?" she whispered in disbelief.

Chat Noir looked up at her as his cat ears heard her whisper. He gulped as he tried to read the expression on her face, but it was simply too difficult to read. Had he said the wrong thing or was she okay with it?

"Y-yes," Chat Noir stuttered. "As you know, I am in love with Ladybug, and at that moment, you reminded me so much of her. It was as if she was saying all that to me. Your kindness and strength, and the-"

"I get it, Chat," Marinette interrupted. She felt hurt and angry. Once again, Ladybug was the only person who mattered. Once again, someone chose to love the Ladybug side of her over her true self. Marinette felt worthless. She wished he would have just left her down there to die instead of torturing her worse than that man ever could.

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