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She's fucking here. In New York. And she talked to her. I don't know what to do. It must have been over twenty minutes as I stand at the same spot I watched Nevaeh walk away from me.
As I watched her crying self walk away from me. I did that. I am the reason why she was crying. No- crying isn't even the right word for it. She wasn't far away from hyperventilating from all of her wailing.
And even though I first thought that letting her walk away, giving her time to think was the right thing to do, I immediately regretted it. I can't let her hate me. I can't let her walk away from me.
My breath catches in my throat as I think that the possibility of her not forgiving me is there. A phone call rips me out of my thoughts.
I don't look at who the caller is. I just answer the call with a sharp "What?" "What did you do?" I hear my brother asking over the phone. "What the fuck do you mean?"
"Nevaeh is not answering my calls or messages. Do you have something to do with it?" If I could I would punch him through the phone for asking that right now. "Andrea paid her a visit when I was at work."
Caleb was quiet for a second. "You're kidding." His words make me release a humorless scoff. "Do I fucking sound like I am joking?" I ask, the volume of my voice increasing with every word I say. "What did she tell her?"
"I don't know," I say, raking my hand through my hair as I look around. "I don't know if she told her everything. I know that Nevaeh knows about the drugs, Caleb. She knows." "Oh," he says quietly what makes me scoff again.
"Yeah, oh. What am I supposed to do, Caleb? She quit work and said she's moving mack to Chicago. I don't even fucking know where she is right now because I let her leave. I let her walk away just like that." My voice becomes shaky as I talk.
"What am I going to do if she doesn't forgive me? What I am going to do without her? I am nothing without this woman, Caleb. I- I don't know what to do." The first tear slips as I talk and once again look around because my brain makes me believe that all of this is just a fucking dream and she's still around somewhere.
"You're coming to my place right now. We'll see about the rest, okay?" I was about to say no to his offer but he beat me to it. "Did you hear me Nate? You're coming over."
So I did. I got into my car and drove to my brother's apartment. On the way there, I tried calling her multiple times. It immediately went to voicemail so I left her messages there.
"It's me, Vaeh. Please let me explain." The next voice message was "I have to talk to you. I can't just let you leave like that, baby," and many more followed after that.
I arrived at my brother's apartment building and got inside. The second I opened his door, he came walking to me and embraced me in a warm hug. For the first time in weeks I let out all the emotions I had bottled up in my head.
I let out the anger and frustration because of our dad. The loss of my daughter. Losing my person.
I let it all out on my little brother's shoulder, my cries getting cut off from the chokes from time to time. "I should have told her. I should have been honest with her. I should have been fair from the beginning because if she would have known, she would have at least had you. She would've gotten a chance for happiness." I explained to him as if he doesn't already know all those things. "Don't say that, Nate."
"I just wanted to know what it feels like, Caleb. I just wanted to know what it feels like to have a partner you can rely on." Caleb told me over and over again that he understands. That it will be alright.
Hours passed. Hours with scotch for both of us and much needed cigarettes Caleb digged out from the back of a drawer. I was about to drive home in the evening even though my alcohol stage was at a point it was stupid of me to drive.
Then my mind came to this certain person. I know where her apartment is when she is in New York so I bring myself there. It's a penthouse even I couldn't afford in my dreams. She had her apartment on the twentieth floor so I took the elevator up there. As I arrived at the door, I already saw the name tag hanging on it.
A. Parker
Lifting my shaky fist up to the door I knock three times. It takes her some time to open the door but when she did and I saw her- I felt nothing but anger. She looks exactly like the last time I saw her.
Andrea's eyes widen as she slams the door shut in front of my face. "Let me in." I say without anything else. "Go away, Nate." Her voice is muffled from the door between us so I slam my fist against the door, talking louder than before. "Open the door, Andrea."
She didn't. I push my entire weight against the door as I slam against it again. "Open the fucking door! Explain yourself!" I shout. I know she is standing right behind the door.
"You weren't supposed to fall in love with her, Nate," she says. God, that voice. It makes vomit come up my throat. So I slam my fists again, screaming from the deepest spot of my lungs. "But I did, okay?! I fucking fell in love with her! I love her more than I love anything in this world! I love that woman more than I would ever be able to love you, do you hear me?! I. LOVE. HER!"
There was silence in the hallway. Except for my hard breaths I heard nothing. "You don't mean that." "Yes, I fucking do. You have no idea how much I mean it. Now open the door!"
She didn't. By every minute that passed with the door not open I became angrier. More desperate. I banged my fists against the door, being sure I will see blood any second. "Open the door!" I continue, tears reappearing in my eyes.
"You ruin everything in my life! You! You ruin everything you touch! You're a liar!" Another punch against the door. "And you're a coward! You hear me! A fucking coward for all the things you do!"
And as I thought, the next slam against the wooden door was with so much force I heard a crack in my hand and saw blood covering it. So I stopped and just pressed my cheek against the door so she could hear me loud and clear.
"I swear to god, if you just ruined the only good thing in my life by your actions- if I can't bring her to forgive me. You can pray that I don't find you. Because I will make you pay for it. Do you hear me? I will come for you! I will come for you, you fucking pathetic piece of shit!" I heard a door next to me as an old man stepped out of it.
"Sir, I am going to ask you to leave this building or I am forced to contact the police about you threatening my neighbor." A laugh bubbled up my throat as I threw my arms in the air. "I am the police. But everything is fine. I was just leaving," I told the man before I leaned in towards the door again. "You heard me, Andrea." I said before I walked away from the door, past the man.
"Have a nice evening, Mr..." I trailed off, looking over his shoulders to read the name shield on the door he just came out of, "Price." I finish and make my way out of the building and to my apartment.
