from dusk till dawn

61

Nevaeh was absolutely escalating with shopping today. She bought so much stuff I wasn't sure if everything would fit in my car and the second thing- if the furniture wouldn't be the only thing I would have to carry into the apartment because I was sure she would pass out as soon as she was seated in the car.

I wouldn't let her carry anything heavy if I think about it that way so I would have to carry most of the stuff but she used so much of her pregnancy energy, that my guess was right and she fell asleep as soon as we were driving out of the parking lot of the shopping center.

She did a great job with getting my mind off of today. About the upsetting part. Not us finding out about us having a daughter. I couldn't be any fucking happier. I immediately texted Caleb about the gender to make his day a little better too.

We arrived at home and to my surprise, Nevaeh woke up as I turned off the engine, seeming like she's got her power back now. Nevaeh insisted on starting to decorate the room for the baby. Like paint the walls and put the bed in the right place.

The woman is a perfectionist so I already know how this is going to go. She was up in our apartment with some things that aren't heavy as I walked three times up and down to get all the other stuff upstairs only to find her taping the walls for the paint. "Are you sure you want to do this now?"

She just nodded as she threw the tape away and opened the color container. "Can I help you?" I ask her. She shakes her head but then looks over to me, already showing me by the look on her face what she wants. "You want me to cook something?" I ask her?

"I'm very hungry," she has got the weirdest pregnancy cravings lately. And the worst is that the woman expects me to try it. Crazy woman. I told her I would be in the kitchen.

I know it sounded selfish but I actually hoped she would ask me to stay with her. I really try to be as close as possible to this woman today to not be alone with my thoughts. I hoped I could just get this day over with just being with her, trying to forget about it. It didn't work. My mind was playing those fucking tricks on me as soon as I was alone, making me go crazy.

Calm the fuck down, Parker

I tried to push it aside as I prepared the food for Vaeh and then, when I was finished I called her to come over and eat. She inhaled the whole plate all at once before she got back to work with me. I started to build the dresser and the bed we bought to put it in its place.

We didn't do much after that and were proud of what we did today.

After the work we did in the baby's room today, I took a long bath. It was amazing and it gave me some time to call Jaxon and talk a little. We don't hear that much from one another lately so I enjoyed the time I had with him over the phone today.

I then got out of the tub, dried my hair a little bit with the towel and then put some of Nathaniel's boxers and a shirt of his on before I got out of the bathroom to ask Nathaniel if he wants to watch a movie.

To be honest, I forgot about this morning when he was crying. Because of that, I was even more shocked when I catched him wipe his tears from his face as soon as he heard me. Nathaniel was sitting on the sofa and looked at me, using his thumbs to wipe and hide the tears that must have flowed before I was there.

I immediately made my way over to the sofa to sit next to him, grabbed his face and turned it for him to look at me. "What's wrong? Did something happen?"

Nathaniel immediately tries to smile at me, grabs my face and plants a kiss on my forehead. "I want to try something," he tells me quietly.

I didn't realize what he was trying to do until he slowly pulled his shirt up and let it fall to the floor next to us. "No, Nathaniel, you don't have to-" The man shushes me as he gets a hold of my face again. He tells me to listen to him before he starts talking.

"You gave me your past. You told me about the things your dad did. Things you have never told anyone. You gave me your trust in every single way and god, you always forgave me when I fucked up."
I was trying to talk again, but he didn't let me as he wiped a tear from my face.

"I know I am not an easy person, Nevaeh. I know I fuck up a lot and I know that forgiving me over and over again is not something I should expect from you. It's something I can't expect from you and you still do it. You see something good in me. You give me the chance to prove myself as a father and you are so fucking patient with me." Nathaniel takes a moment to continue talking.

"You give me so, so much, Vaeh. And I still can't give you the things you want to but I still want to give you at least one thing. One thing that is something no one has ever had before. I want you to be the one to do this," Nathaniel gives me another kiss on my lips before he turns around for his back to face me.

It hurts me every time I see it. The scars literally scream and tell the pain he was in. Who hurt you? At first the only thing I did was look at it. I looked at it before I slowly moves a hand towards him.

As soon as my palm was flat against his back, he tensed all over as his breathing became unsteady. Who did this to you? I wanted to pull it away right after that and tell him to stop. But then I realized that this is his way of starting to let me in. He just gives me a huge piece of him. He trusts me.

And even tho the way he's almost starting to panic, I don't stop. "You tell me when to stop, okay?" He gave me a fast nod, letting his head fall forward.

I slowly moved one palm from the top to the bottom of his back, memorizing the feeling of the long and little scars beneath my palm for the first time. Memorizing the way his muscles first tense and then slowly relax under my touch. It hurts me to think about the pain he must have been in at some point in his life.

The moment feels more intimate than anything compared to what we ever did. My second hand finds it's way on his back what causes him to breathe hard again.

Nathaniel's breaths sound so ragged it sometimes makes me think he is going to faint. And when I noticed that it was being too much for him, I placed a featherlight kiss on one very big scar on the right side of his shoulder before I gently wrap my arms around him from behind and let him calm down. "Thank you, Nathaniel." I whisper. His answer was so quiet I barely heard it. He thanked me too. For whatever kind of reason.

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🥺🥺🥺🥺 someone cutting onions here?

Also this above is a german song. I usually don't listen to them but the vibe and the melody just fits perfectly to the chapter in my opinion.

What do you think?

Love you!