DREAMS PERSPECTIVE:
Just now, I went up to my daughter, Charlotte's, room. She's 16, and she's hung out with boys her whole life, especially since her mom isn't around, she's grown up with me, Nick and George. I thought she was still watching a movie downstairs with her friend, Finn, walked into her room to put her laundry on her bed, and she was asleep with him in the bed. At first, I was already wary of it, but they were pretty close. Like, his hands around her whilst she was asleep. Not to mention their were clothes on the floor, and he was shirtless and she was in her bra. I put the laundry outside her room and quickly left, and I'm telling George and Nick now.
"Guys," I say, coming down the stairs.
"Yeah?" George says.
"I think I need to have the talk with Charlotte," I say.
"Oh god. What happened?" Nick says, pausing the Tv.
"I went into her room to put her laundry on her bed, cus I thought she was still in the basement with Finn. And I walked in, their clothes were on the floor and they were super close in bed."
"Well, she's 16. You have to have the talk with her sooner or later." George says. "You should know."
"Fuck you," I tease. He shrugs, smiling.
The next morning, I sit Charlotte down in her room after Finn's left.
"Umm, so- look..." i start. "I- i think you're mom would've been much better handling this than me. But... I know we never really had this talk but uh... you know-"
"Dad, just speak," she says, crossing her legs and folding her arms. I sigh.
I continue, "boys and dating.... at your age- can lead to some.. mistakes."
"Dad, I'm only 16."
"And I'm only 32."
It takes her a minute, but then she realises. "Oh...."
"Look, I- I would rather you tell me you're having a boy over and that you're in the house when... you know... is going on. Because it just lets me know that you're safe." I try to keep eye contact with her, but of course it's gonna be an awkward conversation. Especially when she's my daughter, not my son. I could relate more to a son, because mistakes at young ages like getting pregnant are obviously only for girls. A lot of young dads will leave the girl with their baby, and I didn't, so I could give better advice with a son. Having a daughter without a mom is really hard sometimes.
"And- you know- I just want you to know that- I know boys can be jerks." I say.
"You're a boy." She tilts her head.
"Yeah, and I've been a jerk before too. But- you- you- you get what I'm saying, right? I don't have to fully say it?" I ask, worriedly.
"Yes, dad. I know what you're saying." She says, unfolding her arms.
"But you can talk to me about any issues with boys. Whether you guys are just friends, or if they're your boyfriend. And remember that you don't have to say yes. You can say no at any time, okay? I really need you to understand this. If you're just kissing, and he tries to do something more, you can say no. It is never your fault Okay?"
"Okay."
"And, Charlotte, please just really remember that last part. Because anything unconsentual like that will never be your fault. Ever. I don't care what you were wearing, if you were intoxicated, if you call me at 3 in the morning saying you need me to come get you, anything, there is no excuse for that type of stuff. And I want you to be able to come and talk to me if those things happen."
"Dad. If anything like that happens to me, you're the first person I'm telling." She reassures me.
I hug her, and kiss her on the top of her head.
"I love you, Charlotte," I say, standing up.
"I love you more, Dad."
I open the door but before I leave, I say something.
"And... use protection, okay?"
"Ew, dad!" She shouts.
"Hey, I didn't and look what happened."
