The Dirty Affair

Chapter 9

                      ||Anneline||

Violetta.

It's such a nice name but somehow that name made my mind its home.

Even though its been a whole week since the incident, her name is the only thing I hear.

Whatever I do, I think of her.

At work, I think of her.

At home, I think of her.

When I shower, I. Think. Of. Her.

Question is, how and why?

Yes, I've answered myself that question many times before but somehow I wasn't happy with my own response. I've barely known Violetta for a month yet I feel so damn attached to her. I'm still in the process of getting to know her better, or at least was in the process of getting to know her better before we were hunged on each others faces.

But of course, a uncomfortable feeling also settled in, in the back of my mind.

Guilt.

It's an unpleasant feeling. Knowing you did something wrong but never admitting to it. It's like stealing a cookie out of a jar and when someone finds the crumbs scattered, you don't admit that your the one that took it, instead you blame it on a sibling.

How does one get rid of this feeling?

By admitting you were the one at fault and face the consequences. The punishment may be harsh, but it will only last for a subtle moment. Eventually, that uncomfortable feeling known as guilt will be wisked away as if it wasn't there to begin with.

But what if you're to scared to admit that you were the one at fault? What if you didn't have the courage to talk it out?

Then, you just have to face guilt head on and sit with the burden. It's not a feeling you can get used to nor can you overcome it like grief.

Knowing full well that you could have stopped yourself from doing something wrong yet still doing it, it made you feel even worse. You could've avoided this feeling but you still went ahead.

These are questions I asked, and answers I internally gave myself. There's no point in trying to get pity for myself or trying to turn the situation around, whats done is done.

To be honest, I can't blame Violetta either. Me knowing that I was married still went with what she iniated. Or rather, what we both iniated.

I had the option to end things off with her but I didn't.

I could've avoided her embrace.

I could've stopped her from kissing me.

I could've covered my ears and not listen to her words.

But, I gave in.

She had the power to end it off too but was determined on doing the opposite.

Whenever I look and think of Cameron I feel highly dissapointed with myself. He doesn't deserve this, he doesn't need a wife who went out and kissed another women. He doesn't need someone who claims that they love him dearly yet does the unthinkable.

I considered telling him about what I did but just didn't have the guts, I admit, I was an absolute coward.

"Whats with the serious expression?" Cindy perked up.

"What?" I asked.

She looked at me for a bit, her green eyes scanning my expression before her face lit up with amusement.

"Ohh yeah, you goin' on your holiday tommorow. What? You thinkin' of what you guys are gonna do in bed all night?" She asked while mischievously biting her lip.

"Cindy!" I blabbed out.

I completely forgot about the holiday.

The holiday that I once looked forward to, I now dreaded. Hearing Cindy mention it made my stomach turn. The thought of being alone with Cameron for two whole weeks made me feel uncomfortable. Don't get me wrong, Cameron doesn't make me uncomfortable. It's just that the events that had happend made me dread being in a room alone with him.

For the past week I had to put up a mask and act as if everything was totally fine. At some point Cameron asked me if there was something bothering me, but I used our holiday as an excuse and told him that the thought of getting into a plane terrified me.

Luckily, he bought my excuse and told me that he'd be there to hold my hand throughout the whole journey. When he said that, the dread in my stomach churned up even more, a knot forming in my throat.

Currently I was out shopping with Cindy.

"Chocolate or Vanilla?" She asked as she held two tubs of ice cream in her hand.

"Vanilla." I answered.

"Chocolate it is." She blurted with a smile and tossed the tub in the cart.

I laughed at her childishness, we continued with our way through the different aisles and eventually ended up at the check out. She paid for her things and we made our way home. Cindy dropped me off and gave me a hug telling me to enjoy my long awaited holiday.

When I opened the door to go inside, I saw two large suitcases placed in the passage.

Is he finished packing already?

"Cameron!" I call out.

I hear a thud from the room and not long after Cameron hastily walking out. He was dressed in his work attire with sweat dripping from his forehead.

"Honey, I'm so sorry but we'll have to postpone our trip and think of another day." He said in a rush as he slipped on his shoes.

"What? Why?" I questioned with my eyebrows furrowed.

"Sudden notice just came in a while ago, business trip." He replied and grabbed his suitcases. He took his car keys and placed a peck on my forehead. "Love you, bye!" He added as he left and closed the door with a slam.

What the hell just happened?

I stood there stunned and trying to process what exactly just took place.

Why was he suddenly called to go to a business trip? That doesn't make any sense, he'd have to at least get a notice a few weeks prior that he needed to go. And the suitcases he had, just where the hell was he going to with two massive suitcases? A business trip only lasts a few days but he packed as if he'll be gone for a couple of weeks.

I grabbed my phone from my back pocket and tried phoning him. The call only ended up going to voicemail multiple times. I decided to send a text asking him for a proper explanation and exactly how long he'll be away.

I walked to my bedroom and slumped down on the bed.

I couldn't help but feel a sense of relief. It felt as if a weight has finally lifted off my shoulder. That dreading feeling finally dissipating. I let out a sigh and just stared up at the white ceiling.

What do I do now?

Initially I planned on spending time with Cameron, obviously, but now that he wasn't here...

I quickly got up, causing my head to spin a bit.

Fucking iron deficiency.

I shake my head a bit trying to get rid of the dizziness and grabbed my phone. As if on cue, I saw the name I was just about to phone shine on my screen.

Saviour.

•°•°•°•°•°

A/N: Yup, Anneline never changed the name :')