Good Riddance (DS #2)

Chapter 58

Chapter 58:

The Role

BLAIR carefully sat at one side of her mother's bed. Natutulog na ito nang mahimbing at bakas sa mukhang naging maganda ang buong araw nito.

Maingat niyang inangat ang kamay at hinaplos-haplos ang buhok nito. She could see that her mother was very comfortable with Ninong Aalto and Nala although Bridgette can't remember them at all after 2 weeks.

Pero siguro, ang hatid ni Ninong Aalto na kaginhawaan sa Mama niya ay laging nandoon—naalala man nito o hindi ang matalik na kaibigan. Hindi nawawala iyon sa paglipas ng kahit ilang panahon at kahit anong sakit...

"I believe this should have been your life, Mama, if you have chosen Ninong from the very start," bulong niya rito. Nangingiti. "I know you sincerely loved Papa, too. Got obsessed and chose a lot of wrong things... But God is still good. Today, you're with the one who has always been your supporter, your safe place...

"Ninong Aalto said he'll continue reading the Bible and share Jesus to you. Kahit uuwi na 'ko, hindi siya titigil."

Inabot niya ang kamay ng ina. Pumikit si Blair at inilapat iyon sa kanyang pisngi.

Her heart hurt a little bit. Yet she smiled amidst the unavoidable pain. Bukas na ang flight nilang pamilya pauwi ng Pilipinas...

"Mama, I don't know if I... will see you, again." Huminga siya nang malalim. "Sigurado kasing hindi na muna ako papaalisin ni Jack habang nagbubuntis pa. I don't know if..."

Napalunok siya. Ayaw niyang umiyak para sa huling gabi na ito.

"I don't want to leave you, but I guess, my heart can't take it once you leave first as I watch. I can't... Siguro, alam ni Jack iyon. Siguro alam niyang sapat na ang oras na nakasama kita pero hindi ko na kailangan pang makita kapag umalis ka na talaga...

"I will always pray for you, Mama. I want to see you in heaven one day. And yes, I can't believe this too. But after so many years of hating and cursing you, at the end, I love you still. Kayo ni Papa, mahal na mahal ko kayo..."

She kissed her mother's hand. "Since I fully accepted Christ, the pain from my childhood and from the years I rebelled, it was slowly cured by His word and soothed by Him and by the people He placed around me... Si Jack, si Santino... ikaw.

"I heard you, Mama. I heard your remorse, your repentance, your pain, your agony, and your tears... I heard it all, Mama. I finally heard it and saw it all. And I pray that days get better for you. I forgive you. I know Papa already forgave you. Tita Bella forgave you... Ninong Aalto forgives you... Ultimately, God forgives you and I hope you get to receive the peace of being forgiven.

"This is grace for you through believing in Jesus, Mama. Unearned, undeserved, but still you're loved enough to be gifted upon you. I hope you receive it well and enter heaven with a joyful heart. Hindi ko alam paano, pero magtitiwala ako sa Panginoon na hinayaan ka Niyang mabuhay ng ganito pa katagal for a purpose. He works wonderfully, Mama. Beyond our human expectations. Doon ako magtitiwala."

Nag-iwan si Blair ng halik sa noo at pisngi nito. Tinitigan niya pa ang ina nang may pagmamahal sa mga mata.

Tumayo siya saglit at kinuha ang vase kung saan niya nilagay ang nabili niyang daisies kanina.

Ipinatong niya iyon sa bedside table. Para kahit wala na siya mamaya sa paggising ng Mama niya, makikita nito ang paborito niyang bulaklak.

Alam niyang imposible na siyang maalala ng Mama niya bilang anak nito na si Blair. Pero maniniwala siyang naaalala nito ang paborito niyang daisy mula pagkabata.