The Intertwined Fate (Serendipity Series #1) COMPLETED

15 - Limit

April 2021

"What is going on here, Celestine?" Lucas' question is simple, easy to comprehend, and concise... but I cannot make out anything to give him the answer he was looking for.

Because even I... don't know what I am doing. And it sucks because I felt like I was walking in a dark, unfamiliar, eerie path. I got nothing as I walk that's why I continued to mindlessly walk, hoping to see the end that will indicate that I am walking on the right path.

I was petrified in my place for a moment but it only lasted for a second because when I saw Luke wiping away the blood from his mouth, I went to him... without thinking. I didn't even mind Lucas beside me and just went to his side.

Luke was like a fire... and I was a moth... constantly endangering itself by nearing the thing that could kill me. I should be scared, I am, but my tie with Luke is stronger than my fear. And this is what scares me the most... the thought of not knowing to what extent I am willing to go for him.

"Celestine," tawag ni Lucas sa akin pero mas tinuon ko ang pansin sa sugat ni Luke.

They are always brawling... because of me. Simula pa noon ay nagkaron na ng lamat ang relasyon nila bilang magkapatid dahil sa akin. I ruined their bond - the bond that I should not have touched.

Luke looked at me in the eyes, wondering what I am doing. He looked confused as to why I went to him when we were just pushing each other away earlier. It was confusing, everything was confusing when it concerns him.

Pakiramdam ko simula noong nagagpo ulit ang landas namin ni Luke ay gumulo ang buhay ko. It seems like I suddenly lost my sense of direction. Hindi ko na alam kung anong dapat kong gawin, kung ano ang tamang gawin.

With all these thoughts in my head, I still mend Luke's wound. I think Lucas punched him hard when he entered my office... while we were busy... threading our mistake. There was a cut on his lips kaya naman inilabas ko ang panyo ko at pinunas iyon.

"Stop treating him!" Lucas exclaimed, which I ignored. "Ciandra Celestine!" And I found myself being pulled away using my arms.

Sapilitan akong itinayo ni Lucas mula sa pagkakaluhod at hinarap sa kaniya. He firmly gripped both of my arms as he looked at me with nothing but anger. I know he won't hurt me... but his eyes are telling me that he wanted to hurt me... to wake me up. His eyes were blazing with anger but there was sadness beneath them.

And I see myself... I saw how broken I am in his eyes. The pity for myself slowly crawls into my nerves. The heavy feeling inside me starts to make their presence known. And the misery of my life sees a green light to make me remember them.

But I was too far... I already went astray the moment I had Luke close to me. This is what I realized while staring at him - that I was already gone. My principles and beliefs were already forgotten because I was once again trapped in him.

Because I once again felt what it feels like to have me near me... I once again felt what it feels like to have me around me.

My tears fell unknowingly as I faced the ugly truth.

It was wrong... yet I am drawn.

My heart clenched at that thought. Lucas cannot hear what is running inside my mind but he knew me too well. And he knew... that I had already given up going against my rational mind. Because in the first place, my weapon against it wasn't strong enough - it was merely a mask, a mask that was hardly glued in my face.

"Celestine," umiling ako sa pagtawag niya sa akin. I cannot speak but my tears are continuously falling. Whenever I try speaking, I always end up closing it because it was shaking so hard.

Umiling sa akin si Lucas. "No, no, don't do this. You already made this far, Celestine."

This far... yes, I did. But at the expense of being alone. All these years, I fought my battles alone and silently. I cried in my sleep as I cover my mouth to silence my whimpers. I mend my wounds without the help of anyone.

I was alone... yet no one noticed it.

Because all they see was what they wanted to see. They knew I was having a hard time with everything that happened in the past year but no one offered their hand to me. It was devastating to suffer alone but I endured it all.

But seeing Luke... just a day with him... made me realize that I've reached my limit.

They are now happy with their lives... their family. Why am I left behind? Why can't I have the same happiness that they have? Why am I being deprived of being happy?

Maybe I'm being selfish... but not enough to be stupid.

Gusto ko si Luke, it is clear as the day. I wanted him back, everything that we used to have. But I know I cannot do that, not when he is getting married. Hindi ko hahayaan ang sarili kong maging isang... kabit.

No, I'm better than that. I am not gonna stoop down that low.

If I were to have Luke back, I wanted it to do the right way. It will be an arduous ride for me and a painful ride for him... but we'll reach the end... if we really are fated to one another. Because I know, it's him for me. It took me years to know that and knowing it late made me regret but it doesn't mean I'm going to continue living my life in regret.

"You're okay... hmmm... you're okay, Celestine," Lucas whispered before cradling my head in his chest. It was just a second because I was, once again, pulled away.

I faced a mad Luke. He was shooting daggers at me. Matapos ay humarap siya kay Lucas. I thought they will have another brawl but Luke ended up asking Lucas.

"Who do you think you are to touch her like that?"