Confessions of a Submissive Wife

CHAPTER 24

Root

Danielle

2017

It's so hot out today, driving around in this car without AC is torture, I thought. I sat at the light on Braddish and North Ave, watching the storm clouds roll in, praying it would passed me by. Not having AC or defoggers in this car made driving conditions horrific. Suddenly the storm hit, making my vision completely impaired. I pulled over on the side of the road, trying to wait out the storm, when the phone rang and Detective Brody's face filled my screen. I hadn't spoken to Brody since we had that night when I abruptly threw him out of my house. I stared at the phone wondering what he could possibly want. As soon as I decided to answer his call, he hung up. The rain finally subsided and I was on my way to meet my therapist. I hadn't been to therapy in years but in light of the latest events in my life, talking to a trained professional was just what I needed.

Dr. Abagail was one of the most respected in her field; her very pricey fees could attest to that. She had earned several awards and alkaloids throughout her career. I sat in her nicely decorated waiting room, filled with an array of tulip flowers and an off white leather sofa. I contemplated if I would leave or not as thoughts mounted up in my heavy head. Soon as I decided to leave, she called me into her office.

"Hello, Mrs. Blake, it's been awhile since you've been in," she said welcoming me in.

"Yeah, since my grandpa's death," I responded as I sat down on her bright suede red couch. Her office was very warm and inviting -- something about that room made me want to tell it all. The sound of low soft melodies complemented her tone as she made me feel completely relaxed.

"What brings you in today?" She asked, crossing her legs. I sighed deeply and said, "I don't know where to begin. It's so many things going on in my life right now."

"Well, let's just start from today. What happened today, on your way here that you may want to discuss?"

"Well, I got a phone call from Ezra this morning."

"Okay, Mr. North," she said. She smiled, leaning her head to the side.

"Yes, you have an impeccable memory," I said.

"How can I forget Mr. North? We discussed him during many, many sessions."

Putting an emphasis on many.

"So, is it safe to assume he's back in the picture?" The therapist inquired.

"Yes and no," I said.

"Well, let's start with the no," she said, "why is he not back?"

"Well, that's very complicated.... My finances have dramatically changed and I may not be able to afford the amount of sessions needed," I explained as I glanced at the clock.

"How much did they change?" She placed her very expensive looking pen down and looked at me as if I was about to skip out on the check. It took some convincing her but she finally agreed to counsel me after I had to write her a check before we began. Laying there for nearly a half hour, watching her take note after note, it hit me that I still felt mentally constipated. I needed to get to the root and I needed her to help me, but I was unsure of the root problem I faced. Rambling on and on about how awful David was and how Pearl and everyone I loved either used me or left me, she cut me off.

"Okay, Danielle, why are we going over what we already covered years ago? Here's what you are missing," she said, "hold up your index finger."

I held it up as she instructed me.

"Good," she said as I held it up, confused as to where she was going with this exercise.

"Now point that finger towards you," she said. I did just that. She turned off her recorder and said, "This is off the record."

"I know you have heard it all before, you can only blame yourself when someone continues to wrong you but here's what people do not tell you. We fight all sorts of spiritual battles and all of those battles begin right here," she said as she pointed to herself.

"The enemy places people in your life to destroy your present and future. I rarely see anyone escape their tempter Danielle, and it sounds like you are free. You have to assess what is it about you that allowed him to enter your life to begin with, so you do not repeat the same cycle. We all play a valid part in our demises. In your case Danielle, you have been dealt a bad hand that started from your youth, and since then, one bad decision has attached itself to you after another. You want answers and you want it to end but there still have not been any revelation. Before you can be delivered, there must first be a revelation. You need to know the cause, the who... what...when...where and the how. You must know who your real enemy is. Your restoration comes from only one source and that is from the Lord," she said.

I could not believe I was sitting in my therapist's office being preached to. What is going on, I thought as her words penetrated my heart and tears began to flow down my face. "You are broken Danielle, you are right where he needs you to be," she said, as she handed me some tissue. I could not explain how drained and refreshed I felt after Dr. Abigail ministered to me for nearly two hours. The more she spoke, the more relaxed and open I felt. I felt like I just dumped a load of my crap on her and she took it and gave it to God. Not once did she look up at her clock, nor did her assistant come in the room. We were completely uninterrupted and it felt great. After prayer, we laughed at the irony of it all. I could not afford her therapy sessions but her ministry counseling sessions were free and had no time limit. She reintroduced herself as Evangelist Abigail and she is the wife of Pastor Ralph Branch. She invited me to attend her Sunday service. After that divine appointment, how could I refuse. I don't know what God has in store for me but after the past few years of hell I've experienced, a little heavenly help is just what the doctor ordered.