Confessions of a Submissive Wife

CHAPTER 12

Rocky Road

Pam

2015

We sat in the waiting room of the station for nearly a half hour and no one had any answers for me. I refused to leave but Tina was not so dedicated to the cause. She had Phil pick her up from the station. I sat there in silence thinking about Andre' and how I wish I wasn't so wrapped up in him. I could have helped her long ago.

It was our six month anniversary and things between Andre' and I had been little rocky lately. With Danielle away on business, I had to run the office. I had enough on my plate at home dealing with Andre' and his baby mama drama, so not being able to close my very first deal was driving me insane. I had been feeling ill for the past few days. I struggled to make it through my work day and not wanting to be in the office didn't make it any easier. However, I had been working on this really messy settlement and I needed to close it. I wanted to prove to Danielle I was ready for a promotion. Being an administrative assistant had it's perks but it didn't come with a six figure lifestyle. She was my girl and all but she kept business completely separate. I was grateful for her allowing me to come back to work for her after I quit for the fourth time. Danielle, being as petty as she is, didn't increase my salary. She ran through assistant after assistant, but none of them would stay longer than two days. I desperately needed to make more money and show her that I was not just here merely on friendship but I was a valuable asset to the firm.

But today just wasn't that day, I just couldn't deal. As I sat at my desk going through the file, I began to feel very lightheaded so I called my sister to come pick me up. She finally arrived around 2:30 and I managed to get my doctor to squeeze me in.

I sat in the waiting area, scared thinking a million and one things, all of which were bad.

I better not be pregnant or worse, sick, dying from disease, I thought as panic began to creep in. Oh my God what if Andre' is cheating again and he gave me...naw he wouldn't.

My mind was going in many directions. The nurse called me to the back and asked, "What brought you to the office today?"

"I have been feeling sick in my body," I replied.

"What are the symptoms?"

"I feel like I am going to vomit, I'm light headed and my head hurts," I said.

"When was your last menstrual cycle?"

"Um I don't know, I have been very busy at work lately. I really can't remember...I believe I had one last month. Yeah, last month on the 15th," I said

"Well, Ms. Smith, the doctor will probably first take a pregnancy test. Are there any other problems?" The nurse asked.

"Just check me for everything," I said.

I just got the worst possible news ever, now I have to tell Andre'. I wonder how he will take being a father once again.

Andre' woke up early this morning and went for a run. Last night's conversation didn't sit well with me, so I decided to investigate. My mother always said if one plus one doesn't add up to two, then there is a missing equation and you need to figure it out so things will add up.

Andre' came home late last night, as usual, and I was so excited to share the news with him about the baby, only to discover he had some news of his own to share. He sat at the end of the dinner table with his big, dumb, cheesy grin on his face and said,"Baby, you know I have been waiting to get back to playing ball and I got the call today. I have to leave for Europe tomorrow. Did you hear me baby?"

I could not see or feel anything but rage as I stared at the bright red lipstick spot on his collar. I waited until he reached the deepest part of his sleep. As his snoring grew louder and louder, I grabbed his phone and rushed to the bathroom. To my surprised, the dummy never changed his passcode since last month when I first discovered it. I quietly searched and search, nearly giving up before I hit the jackpot.

When are men going to realize just because you delete something doesn't mean it's gone, I thought as I revived all his so-called deleted pictures and email. What an idiot.

After hours of searching through every despicable detail, I sat on my bathroom floor contemplating my revenge.

I stood over him as he lay in bed so peacefully, and not a worry in the world made what I was about to do even more gratifying.

He woke up earlier this morning for a 5 a.m. run. Usually I would be sound asleep when he went for his runs, but not today. He came barreling through the doors as he finished his run. The airport shuttle arrived as the blender sounded. I had an array of fruits and veggies chopped up on the counter to hide the distant taste of the half bottle of laxative and a few Viagra pills I added to the mix, since he's so full of shit.

"You want some babe?" I asked with a smile on my face, as I sipped on my separate batch I made for myself, without the extra kick.

"Yeah, put it in a cup for me, I'll get it on my way out," he said, dashing up the stairs.

Perfect, I thought as I pictured his long, disturbing flight to Europe.

I guess God didn't like my revenge cause that was the day I lost my man and my baby.