Confessions of a Submissive Wife

PRELUDE

It's astonishing how one single moment in time seems to influence every aspect of an individual's life. Throughout someone's life, there are all of these theoretical paths they may take, in hopes of getting an inkling of a chance at a so called "good life".

Do you believe a hypothetical path could affect a person's life for better or for worse? In my perspective, yes, especially when you allow, who is known as the King of kings and Lord of lords, to guide you on His path of true love and happiness. God has given us the power to choose and, in choosing, he wants us to follow him. I truly believe He loves us, and in loving us, He doesn't want to force upon his will, so He leaves us with free will in allowance of screwing up our own lives.

In life, we are faced with all sorts of choices. Right or left, yes or no, up or down, hi or bye -- these are simple, yet difficult decisions to make when facing a matter of the heart.

Imagine a seventeen year old with a car, who had the power of freedom to go wherever her gas mileage would take her. Do you think she would make the right choices? Do you think that a young mind actually has the willpower to fight off many temptations?

Some of you may naively say yes; however, a pragmatist like myself believes it's virtually a mission impossible. To the optimist, they may say you are both correct and incorrect. How... You may ask, well not all adolescents will, even though everything is pointing them down the right path. I should know, I was one of them. I decided to follow my heart, which led me to the man who ultimately beat me down. Needless to say, it wasn't just emotional. Even if I could rewind time and change the direction I took, I wouldn't because, in the end, it made me much stronger.

Trust me when I say that the misery, pain, and suffering slid off my shoulders as if they were a coat; a coat that hid who I really was, who I could become, and who I should be proud to be.

2005

January 24, 2005, I arrived at Ezra's house around 7:30 p.m. and his parents were out of town. Instantly I knew I should have bolted out the front door but he persuaded me to stay. We attempted to watch Star Wars but as soon as the credits started rolling, so did his hands. After nearly fifteen minutes of hot and heavy making out, he asked, "Do you want to go upstairs?"

Now, I was faced with the ultimate question: "Danielle," I thought, "if you say yes, you can never go back to the beautiful flower you once were."

When I was a little girl, my daddy and I planted a flower garden in the front of our townhouse. It was the only garden on the block. We planted an assortment of beautiful flowers, ranging from daffodils, orchards, and sunflowers that grew nearly six feet tall. But my favorites were the Calla Lilies. My dad named the first one that bloomed after me.

I was so happy! It was my 10th birthday, and he brought me a dozen of beautiful, multi-colored, long stemmed Calla Lilies. I loved the red and purple ones the best. He softly sat on my bed and shared an amazing story with me.

There was this beautiful flower named Lilly, which stood out amongst the other flowers in her garden. She was the most beautiful of all the flowers. All the other dainty flowers would go out and play, but Lilly was afraid of getting into trouble and would stand in her living room looking out the big window at all her friends roll down hills and jump from tree to tree.

One very hot day, all the flowers needed some water because they were starting to wither away. Then, this robust weed sprouted out the ground and said he knew where they could get some cold spring water. The silly flowers followed the weeds down the steep hill. Lilly frantically looked but could no longer see them. Lilly saw a very handsome weed standing in front of her window and he waved his leaf, signaling for her to come out and play. For several days, Lilly ignored the weed and patiently waited for the other flowers to return but they never did.