YOUR SERENITY - [정원]

23 | hiding from him

“Just for one , i want to be his first choice ”
The verse repeated in her head like a shuffle , continuous and non-stop .

She just can't describe what she's feeling right now.  Everything is just plain, numb and empty .

Very empty .

She already holds too much phases and empty promises thrown to her face until that sadness gets so deep in her heart, that she can’t even cry .

All she wanted was a love that didn't remind her of pains .
But the loves she wants come from the same person who had hurt her .

She had been so sad and want to be alone but at the same time she really wish there was someone who she can talk to that actually cares .

isn't it weird how she can actually feel it in her chest and stomach when something really hurts her feelings ?

And there's nothing worse than realizing how little she mean to those who mean the most to her .

First love is always chaotic . You lose control , you lose perspective , you lose the ability to protect yourself —

just for the sake of someone who always makes you a second option .

"You make me like a fool, Yang Jungwon"
Haneul muttered to herself .

She doesn't want to go to class, she doesn't want to meet Jungwon or Yunju.  So she just hangs out in the hallway and waits for Mr Kang to come and scolds her so she can skip class for detention .

She leant her back against the wall with her mouth busy sucking a lollipop in her mouth.  Her both ears are equipped with earbuds because she does not want anyone to talk to her, even the earbuds are not connected with songs.

Haneul wonders, what is the ending ?
Will the world give her what she asks for if she keeps on praying ?

The sky looks very cloudy nowadays.  The bluish sky that used to be her comfort spot is now dominated by gray, it rains regardless of the time.

Maybe, the sky also understands her feelings .

"Uh , can you please open the store door for me? "

Haneul gazed at a boy in front of her but she could not see his face because it was covered with three boxes that he was holding .

"The store door? Which one?"

She could hear the boy mumbled something but not very clearly.

"You're leaning against the store door ,"

Realizing that she was blocking the boy's path, Haneul immediately stepped back and bowed, apologizing repeatedly.

The boy softly chuckled and approached the doorknob after he gave her the key , trying to open it with his elbow.  He groaned frustratedly when the doorknob didn't want to open.