Is It A Date?

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JOSEPHINE

Pushing the door open to my place, I step inside before turning and closing the door. I lean my forehead against the wood, breathing out a breath I didn't even know I was holding. That was... amazing. Incredible. Unbelievable. Almost impossible. But it happened. I went out with Hero Fiennes Tiffin. Similarly to how my mind and heart were racing when I was with him they still are now. I did my best to stay calm for him, I could more than sense his nervousness before we parted ways but what I really didn't expect was the offer for dinner which I couldn't say no to. I'm having dinner with him.

Our time together was fleeting but so much fun. I didn't stop laughing or smiling practically for the whole time we were out. I didn't want it to end. We'd probably still be in Clayhill Park now, laughing and joking if it wasn't chucking it down. Fucking rain. I'm so glad I wrote that letter. This was the last thing I expected to come of it but I'm feeling something. Something I've never felt before when it comes to guys. I want to spend time with him, to talk to him. To really get to know him and pursue more with him. But there's time for that, he has Mila to prioritise first and foremost. Not my silly daydreams.

Lifting my head from the door, I drop my key into the bowl and head into my bedroom. Even though the clothes I'm in now are comfortable, I feel suffocated. Warm and claustrophobic. Can being around someone really affect you like this? I've never experienced anything like this. My whole body feels like it's on fire, my head whirring with everything that's happened today in the last few hours. I fall back onto the bed in my underwear, the cool air on my apartment a welcome distraction from the heat I'm feeling. I need to cool down, in more ways than one. No one has ever made me feel so flustered. It's like I can still feel his arm wrapped around my waist, his hands in mine and the soft touch on my knee. He's good, I'll give him that and this delayed reaction is proof enough for me to know just how much he could affect me.

I don't know how long I lie here, but goosebumps are now pricking at my skin as I start to feel the cold. I feel like I've gone from fire to ice. Who knew getting so flustered could be so delayed? I didn't feel like this while I was with Hero, it's only now. Like my body's had a delayed reaction. I fully blame this on the utter disbelief that's coursed through me. It's got to be. Now, because I've fully pushed it away from me and focused on what possibilities could lie ahead, my body's reacted. This is insane, anyone would think I'm a fucking hormonal teenager.

Sitting up, I take myself over to the wardrobe and lift the hangers off the handle and throw them gently onto the bed. Taking myself back, I arrange my worn clothes back onto them and place them in the correct area of my wardrobe. I just want to get in some comfies and decompress from the more-than interesting few hours I've had with Hero. My mind is constantly playing it, over and over again. Not that that's a bad thing. If I could rewind the clock and do it all over again, I would.

After changing into my baby pink hoodie and a loose pair of grey joggers, I close the door to my bedroom and head back into the living and kitchen area. A nice hot cup of tea will help me settle. I genuinely didn't know it was possible to feel such things after simply meeting someone in person. It's like I've been dragged through a vortex of emotions, my body and mind have gone into overdrive and this is the comedown which I can only compare to free-falling from a plane. Not that I've done that, of course. But I can imagine this is what it feels like.

I continue into the kitchen and head straight to the kettle. I have the taste in my mouth for tea, that's sure to help me completely decompress from actually meeting Hero Fiennes Tiffin. How many people can say they've spent one-on-one time with him? Not many, I'm sure.

Filling the kettle, I flick the switch down and grab the mug from the drainer. Reaching into the pot of teabags, I drop one into the mug and get the milk out of the fridge. I'm doing my damndest to keep my mind busy to stop myself from spiralling again. I've never felt anything quite like this. I feel like I should text him to say thank you but if he's home - which I've no idea whether he could be or not - he'll be wanting to devote his time to Mila. Seeing as he's been out with me. The kettle switch flicks up, telling me it's boiled, breaking me out of my thoughts and I get to work pouring the water over the teabag before setting it back down. I stir in the milk and remove the teabag, throwing it in the bin as I go before sitting myself down on the couch.

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