𝙍𝙤𝙡𝙡𝙚𝙧𝙘𝙤𝙖𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙧|𝑋𝑜𝑙𝑜 𝑀𝑎𝑟𝑖𝑑𝑢𝑒𝑛̃𝑎

28

It's gonna be so cool to learn karate and meet the original actors from the karate kid movies. I hope that they're not absolute dick  heads that let the fame get to their heads but something tells me they won't be. If anything I'm the one that has to prove myself because I'm coming onto their franchise. Let's hope that they don't hate me.

Suddenly I heard my phone ding. I searched for my phone in the mess of clothes scattered all over my bedroom floor. I finally found it and looked to see that it was a text from Jules. She asked if she could come over and if I needed help packing.. I could feel my stomach slowly drop as I stared at the message.The memories of last night started running through my head yet again, just like this morning..

I just don't know. I don't know what to feel about her right now. I'm confused on how I feel , last night felt like a fever dream. We kissed, I kissed her...

Everything happened so fast I was just so excited and in the moment and I wasn't even thinking . I just felt so overwhelmed and happy and She's my best friend , I love her to death and we just had a great day. and I'm not gonna lie ,she's so pretty. We were holding each other , looking into each other eyes , I just felt like kissing her for some reason.I just thought she looked beautiful and we had an amazing day with eachother and I just got some exciting news.

I don't know what I felt for her in the moment before the kiss when I was looking into her eyes. I don't know what I felt during the kiss or after the kiss. I don't know what I feel about her now , it's confusing because I've always just seen her as my bestfriend and nothing more. The thought of kissing  her never crossed my mind yet I felt like it and I don't know why. The kiss was.. amazing and I didn't hate it and I know that I did feel something but I don't know what it is exactly and it's kind of scary..

It's scary because I just can't even process that we kissed and all that comes with it.let's say that I figure out that  I do like her , let's say I do have feelings for her.. that would change everything. We would start dating and then let's say that some how , some way , something goes wrong. One of us hurts eachother and we break up, Not only will I be heartbroken but I'll lose my bestfriend...

I can't lose her , not again , and not forever because I know that we will not remain the best of friends or friends at all if we break up. Exes can't stay friends , there's too much pain and complicated feelings involved.

But I'm not even gonna think about that right now because I don't even know what I feel about her. All I know is that I did feel something , just can't process or begin to think about what exact feeling it was. It's a new feeling , I've never seen Jules that way , she's always been my bestfriend and I want to keep her as my bestfriend. Don't wanna take the chance of losing her or making things awkward between us so I think it's just best that we stay bestfriends and we don't bring up the kiss..

But I'm scared to tell her that because I don't want to hurt her in any way , I know that I was her first kiss and I just don't know what to do or how to tell her. And I'm leaving to Atlanta tomorrow so maybe it'll give her some time to get over the it, or me, I don't know if she likes me but I do know that I was her first kiss and that's something that's special to her..

Or maybe me leaving to Atlanta will make her even more hurt because I was her first kiss and then I'm just suddenly leaving.. I don't know , I don't know what to say to her or what to do . I don't wanna make things awkward and even tho I did feel something , I don't wanna complicate our friendship..

I know that If she comes here, she's gonna wanna talk about it at some point and I don't know what to tell her. Plus , maybe we need some time away from eachother.. I'll just go over to her house later tonight when I'm ready.