All I Know So Far

Chapter 39. Mother to Mother

Noella

"Did you guys wash your hands like I asked you to?" I asked Ava and Abel who nodded their heads vigorously. I smiled at the two while placing my aprons on their small bodies. We were baking cookies for daddy today, per their request. The kids were tired of running outside and opted for an indoor activity instead, and since they were all washed up, I agreed.

I was allowing them to have complete control, with adult supervision of course. I had placed all the ingredients they would need in small bowls so that all they had to do was mix them together. It was so fun to watch them assist each other in small tasks, but I know they felt happy with their new independence. I preheated the oven while they gave their full attention to turning their cookies into 'perfect' little balls.

I bounced Thomas on my hip who had a drool-filled smile on his face. It felt so nice to have moments like these, where I didn't have to worry about the club or business, just being together with family. I never thought about what it would be like to be a stay-at-home mom because I loved my job. I loved the career I chose and the confidence it gave me knowing that I could walk into a room full of egotistical men, and still come out on top. But being around the kids gave me a different type of serotonin. I mean, just knowing that Jax was going to walk through that door and give me a kiss that completed my ideal family picture, made me feel warm inside. Like I could have it all for once.

I heard a knock on the door and then Gemma suddenly emerged. I felt my heart sink a little bit considering that she wasn't Jackson. She walked into the kitchen and took a look at the chaos. The kid's aprons were covered in flour, while their little hands were sticky with cookie dough. I was standing against the table with Thomas in my arms who was trying to get me to continue to bounce him.

"Well, isn't this a cute picture," I could hear the sarcasm dripping from her lips and I tried my best to keep my demeanor calm. I know that whatever relationship Gemma and I could have formed was currently being stalled by her resentment for me. She blamed me for whatever happened between Tara and Jax, which was odd since she of all people knew how important family was.

"Grandma, we're baking cookies!" Ava shouted happily while showcasing her hands. "I see that!" Gemma squeezed Ava's cheeks while she giggled, "are you having fun, Abel?"

"Yeah! We're making cookies for daddy," he matched his sister's excitement.

"Well, I'm sure your daddy is going to love them," she encouraged, "and you guys are doing this all by yourself!"

"Mommy is letting us be independent!" At that moment, time stood still. It took me a while to register that the voice belonged to Abel. If it wasn't for Gemma's face turning a ghost pale, I wouldn't have thought that he was the one who said it. I had never urged Abel to call me his mommy because I didn't think he needed another mommy, he just needed someone who cared about him. But hearing it come out of his little mouth, made everything seem so real.

I tried to regain my composure, but I was stuck in a trance. Even when I put the cookies in the oven for the kids and put Thomas down for a nap, I was still stunned. Gemma had sent the kids into the living room to watch Tv and she joined me at the breakfast table.

"So, what do you think about that?" she said breaking the silence. I didn't respond, I just kept taking peeks at Abel. "He called you mommy."

"I know," I closed my eyes tightly.

"What are you going to do about it? Because that's my grandson in there!" Gemma whispered/yelled.

"I know," I said through gritted teeth.

"You still planning on leaving?" she asked curiously, "would seem strange to leave now with you taking all these kids in. I also hear that you and my son are an item again-"

I looked here dead in the eye, "we're married. And I'm not taking some random kids in, I'm taking care of my husband's kids, which in turn would make them my priority too."

She fell silent and we stared at each other for a moment. I hadn't talked to Gemma about the terms of my relationship with Jax, I didn't think he would either considering how rough things between us were before. Jax wouldn't want to introduce his mother into our relationship so soon, not without my consent. Then it dawned on me, the only person who loathed me enough to tell my business.

"Why do you care about what I do with my family?" I cocked my head at her.

"I have every right to know about the person who is going to be around my grandkids," she said plainly.

"Careful Gem, I'm not the other one," I said getting up from my seat to remove the cookies from the oven, "and next time you want to talk to her, make sure that my name isn't a topic of conversation."

"How could it not be? You have her kids!"

I snapped, "and whose fault is that? Hmm? Surely, it can't be the fault of the person who made her boss arrest me under false allegations and almost had my kid taken away from me!"

Gemma's demeanor dropped once she saw that I was getting angry. Just thinking about what could have happened if Tara's plan fell through got me mad all over again. It was a touchy topic and a moment I never wanted to repeat in my life.

Gemma placed her hands on my shoulders, "listen, mother to mother. She is hurting right now without those boys, at least let her see him again."

I looked over at Abel who was cuddled into a blanket on the couch and huffed. I didn't think it would be this hard with him, "what if she tries to take them again?" The question was directed more at the fear within me than at Gemma herself. I knew my possession of the boys was excessive, Tara had played a huge maternal role in Abel's life and Thomas was her son. I didn't have enough ground to feel this way but I did.

"We'll take baby steps, I'll be there to watch her," Gemma reassured me.

"Of course, you will," I said sarcastically.

Gemma ignored it, "all you have to do is talk to Jax. You're the only one he'll listen to right now."

And just like that Jax came through the door, the kids ran up to him in a flurry of excitement. "Daddy, we made you cookies!" they informed him. He held each child in each of his arms while giving them a bear hug. He let them drag him to the kitchen to see their cookies cooling on the counter. When he looked at me, he could tell I was worked up.

He smiled plainly at me and took me up in his arms. He placed a kiss on my lips while his hand rested on my hip. "You good?" he asked searching my face. I nodded my head and placed a kiss on his cheek to reassure him. I could tell he wasn't buying it, but he let it go for now.

"Ma, can you watch the kids tomorrow? I want to take this hottie on a date," he grinned at me. A smile spread over my lips, "a date?"

"First of many, I gotta woo my old lady," I burst into a fit of laughter as his eyebrows danced. Gemma shook her head, "yeah, whatever prince charming, what time do you need me by?"

"Come around six," she nodded her head and took a warm cookie off the baking sheet before leaving. "And you," Jax pushed me against the counter and brought his lips to my ear, "better look like the hottest thing tomorrow."

"Teller, you offend me, do I ever disappoint?"

He sized me up and down, "I don't think I'll ever be disappointed by you." His lips came to mine and we got lost in each other for a minute. As if nothing else mattered and time stood still. That is until the kids sent a chorus of ew's our way. Jax only encouraged them by kissing me some more which made me laugh.