All I Know So Far

Chapter 4: Don't Blame Me

JAX

I rode my bike into the Wahewa Tribe Reservation, where my best friend Ope was getting married to his old lady, Mila. Mila was a new face to Charming, and everyone knew little about her. Ope kind of kept any information about her to a minimum, but I was happy for him, the kids seemed to adore her. She seemed to get along with Tara and my mom okay, which could only mean that she was either crazy or obtained the Queen of Samcro's approval.

When I came to a halt I greeted the kids and noticed Ellie with a little girl I'd never seen before. I knew she didn't belong to any of the prospects, and last I checked, there weren't any mother croweaters in sight. The little girl wore a big smile on her face that displayed all of her baby teeth, her smile reminded me of someone I had hurt long ago. The little girl had some of her features, except for her strange eyes.

"Hey, Ellie, who's this cutie?" I reached out to tickle the girl who giggled at my contact. She looked about Abel's age, just a tad shorter and with a mane of curly hair that was in two puffs on her head. "This is Ava, Aunt Ell's daughter," my brows furrowed at the name. Ell? When did Ell have a kid? Better yet, when did she come back to Charming?

"Noella? Where is she?" Ellie turned around to point to my former wife standing next to Mila and Gemma. Tara was talking to someone while keeping a close eye on the newcomer. Gemma looked angry and a bit uneasy, while Ell looked bored and agitated. Her dark brown eyes met mine and I could feel memories come flooding back. Ella was my second marriage after Wendy and one that still haunts me till this day. We got together when I had a run in Nevada, some men came back broke and smelling of booze, I came back with a wife.

My marriage to Ell was one for the books because we could have been everything right. But there were too many lies, half-truths, and I never stood up for her like she did me. I've been paying for what I did to her with Tara, making sure that I don't repeat my mistakes. Being gone helped me realize how important she was to me; I didn't know that back then.

I broke my attention away from the girls and made my way into what seemed like a den of lions. I planted a kiss on my mom's cheek, "hey ma, what's going on?" My mom looked genuinely disoriented, like someone had told her something that scared or shocked her.

"Why don't you ask her," was all she could say before she sat down by the nearest chair.

"What's going on Ell? What are you doing here?" I questioned her softly. There was a part of me that still ached for her, but the look on her face was all the confirmation I needed to know that those feelings weren't reciprocated.

"I'm here for the wedding Jax, what else would I be here for?" her voice oozed with a sarcastic tone. No doubt that she still loathed the ground I walked on.

"Why don't you tell him the truth you gash!" Gemma held her chest tightly as Clay and Tara joined the impromptu meeting. The kids looked back at us with confused looks on their faces, "Ellie, can you guys go take a walk, this reservation is beautiful!" Ell yelled out. Ellie nodded her head while all the kids disappeared with a prospect following closely behind.

"Will someone please tell me what's going on here," I looked at Ell who looked unphased by her surroundings.

My mom sprang up from her seat, "that baby is yours! I could see it in her face," my mom stepped closer to Ell's face, "you have some nerve keeping something like that from my family."

Ell snorted and tried to keep from laughing, "I know you are not lecturing me when you sent Wendy as bait to break me and Jax up. What'd you think was going to happen? I was going to stay here and play sister wives while bumping bellies with Wendy?"

I felt anger boil inside of me, "your problem was with me! You shouldn't have kept my kid a secret!" I stepped forward to her until her head had to tilt up to look at me. She shoved me out of her personal space, and Tara stepped forward to handle her. I placed an arm around Tara to keep her from Ell. Ell was a lot of things, but when she got angry she blacked out.

Ell walked over to me, in the same manner, I did to her, "You know what, that's fair Jax I should have told you. But you wanna know what stopped me; Donna's death, Abel getting kidnapped, you in jail for eighteen months. I guess I didn't want my baby visiting you behind a glass, I'll do better next time," she plastered a fake smile on her lips.

I was breathing through my nostrils and my fists were clenched, even though she was almost a foot shorter than me, she matched my energy, waiting to swing at any moment.

"Why didn't you bring her by anyway, we could have known her too," Tara stood up for me standing proud by her old man.

I looked down at her with pride and then turned my attention to Ell who was looking at Tara like she said something stupid. "You're the new old lady, right? I'm assuming you've never heard about me because if you did, you would know that was the DUMBEST suggestion I have ever heard."

"Hey, cool it," I warned.

Ell rolled her eyes, "please, no offense Mrs. Teller but bless your heart," Ell pointed at my mom, "this woman was a thorn in my side, didn't like me before she knew my last name. This so-called family treated me like crap, and never took their foot off my neck. So, no, I wasn't going to trust ANYBODY with my baby."

I opened my lips to protest but then shut it again when Ell gave me a look daring me to lie. Everyone was dead silent at Ell's confession and no one bothered to argue it. Gemma was shaking in her seat before she just snapped and tried to use the chair as a weapon towards Ell.

Ell didn't flinch as the chair came towards her but caught one of the legs with her hand and had a staredown with Gemma.

"Hey! Put that down, that's Dice's girl," Piney walked over carrying his tank. Gemma looked at Ell in shock and everyone seemed to do the same at the news. Daniel Williams, better known as "Dice" was one of my Dad's old friends, rumor has it he started a club with him called the Alchemists. They were legendary, one of the most feared and respected clubs on the West Coast. They were a dying breed, they sounded like a myth rather than an operating club now.

"Dice is your old man?" Clay questioned bring his glasses down to the tip of his nose.

Ell rolled her eyes, "no, he's my father."