All I Know So Far

Chapter 9. To Sasha

I slipped out of my suit as I placed my change of clothes on the bed. Gemma and Clay's bed to be exact, It was so eerie being in here. I could almost hear the secrets that kept Gemma Teller up at night. It was strange being inside the room of the woman who was responsible for my mother's death. There was a part of me that wanted to destroy the place and let her bird fly out the window. But that would ruin certain relationships.

Gemma may not have lit the match, but she sure blew the whistle. Having Clay kill her own husband while he was bedding his wife was sinister. But to have the only other woman who could blow her cover killed was the work of the devil. I saw right through Gemma and she knew it, our beef was ancient. I didn't care about scores being settled with the club; you don't rip someone's mother away from them while you play with their grandchild.

My father might have made peace with the past, but I knew Gemma wasn't done being a conniving, manipulate gash. So, how could I forgive that? My hurt was deep and if Jax knew his mother was behind his father's death, he would have her and Clay's head on a platter. That was what gave me peace, leverage that would make her beg for mercy. You had to have something strong to keep you sane in this town, or it will take everything you have.

The door swung open as my skirt hit the floor, Jax gasped in embarrassment as his entire face turned a bright red. He ogled my body as he stumbled over his words, "geez, I'm sorry Nelly. The door slammed shut as the breeze from the impact made me cold. I held back a smile from hearing my old nickname. Jax was the only one who ever called me that, and it still sent butterflies swarming in my stomach.

I slipped on a simple dress and changed into some flats. I stuffed my clothes in my bag as I left the room and joined everyone in the dining room. Ava and Abel were sitting in Jax's lap and he smiled awkwardly while his blush returned to his cheeks. I motioned him over to the living room and Tara followed holding who I assumed was baby Thomas. Tara bounced him on her hip as she locked eyes with me, I guess I had to appreciate that I didn't have a third bump buddy.

I sat across from Ava and sat down on the couch between Jax and Abel. Those two had become thick as thieves, I guess it softened this process knowing how well she was getting on with Abel. "Ava, you remember when I said I had big news for you today?"

Ava scrunched up her nose as she searched her memory, "yes..." she giggled.

"Well, what about to tell you is really big news."

Ava could hardly contain herself as everyone peered into the living room. "Jax and I used to be together a long time ago."

She squealed, "you used to be boyfriend and girlfriend?" Abel and Ava giggled at the news. I leaned in closer, "we used to be husband and wife." They burst into a fit of giggles and I laughed with them, while Jax seemed to be admiring the sight.

"But seriously, when me and Jax were together we had a baby-"

"That's me!" Ava jumped up and down, "you're my dad?" she looked over at Jax with a shocked expression. She began to calm and stopped moving altogether, "but how come I didn't see you?"

I stepped in and reverted Ava's attention back to me, "Ava, Jax would have loved to come and see you, and the only reason he wasn't able to is because of me. I was very mad when I left here and I wanted to keep you all to myself, and for that I'm sorry." I could feel a tear stream down my face, and Ava wiped it away with her hand, "it's okay mommy, don't cry. Don't be sad."

"I'm not sad anymore, I'm just very happy that you have a daddy, brothers, and a whole big family that will love you. And I'm sorry I didn't see that before the pumpkin."

I locked eyes with Jax as the words left my lips and he mouthed a "thank you" to me. I got up and fished in my bag to pull out Ava's card to the father/daughter dance at the charity for her daycare. I walked over and handed it to her and she beamed when she saw it.

"Are you sure Papa isn't going to be sad?"

I laughed, "Papa will be just fine going with me."

She squealed as she took in a deep breath and handed Jax the card. He dramatized the reading and accepted her request and planted a big kiss on her head. Everyone erupted in applause as Jax danced with Ava around the room. I excused myself from the room to remove the cookies from the oven.

"Hey mom, how are you holding up?" I turned around to see Gemma standing in the kitchen. I dropped the baking sheet on the counter, "I'm happy for Ava."

"Putting your child's happiness above your own, that seems like a true mother to me."

"Learned from the best."

She smiled at that, "yeah, your mom was a real winner."

"Yeah, she was." I poured two glasses of wine and handed her one.

"To Sasha," she toasted.

"To Sasha."