All I Know So Far

Chapter 2. Revelator

I was giving birth to my daughter when Donna was killed. No one told me until two days later, I had been keeping in touch with her and was on the phone with her that day. She was updating me on Abel and Opie. She was so excited to finally put her marriage back to where it belonged, I promised her I was going to go visit her after the baby was born. We had planned to meet up so she and the kids could meet the baby, I was crushed when I found out what happened.

I felt like the wind had been knocked out of me, and I couldn't help but feel for her poor kids. I had no doubt in my mind that Opie was a good dad, but a loss like that changes a person. I decided to use my connections to reach out to Opie, but when I phoned the house, Opie's mother Mary answered instead. I explained to her my want to see the kids and make peace with my late friend. She snuck the kids out to come to see me and I asked her not to let anyone know.

She of all people understood my want to keep my whereabouts out of Samcro's reach. I held on to the kids as they mourned in my arms, I made sure to bring Ava, hoping that her presence could somehow be a help. Ellie fell in love with her immediately and played with her while I played with Kenny. Ellie begged me to stay and come back to Charming, and my heart dropped when I had to tell her no. She was too young to understand then, but I knew my refusal was a blow to her.

I promised to keep in touch with her and to never forget her. I had to explain that my distance didn't signify that I was leaving her life. Knowing how much Donna fought for her kids, I'd be a fool to leave them high and dry. I exchanged numbers with Mary to help me keep in touch with the kids. Mary Winston was a lot of things, but reliability wasn't her strong suit, so I made sure to slide Ellie my number for safekeeping.

Looking back now, it seems like forever ago. Ava is turning three in just a few short months, and she is getting more and more curious. So many things about her remind me of Jax, one of her eyes is the exact shade of blue like Jax's. While the other is a pool of brown like mine. She has his smile and she scrunches her face up just like him when she's upset. I never knew I could love someone so deeply until she was born, and if anything came out of my marriage, I'm glad it was her.

My dad knows about Samcro well, but he battles with himself ever since the Sons went to Stockton. I know he doesn't want to hurt me, but he made some century-old promise to JT about helping the Sons. He never says anything, but I know he wants to make amends to make things right. Especially since I have practically taken over the Alchemists.

I handle all the deals and the operations; I don't really get involved with the culture of it. I know my dad wishes I did, but when you see so many of the people you love die in the name of violence, you think differently. I live comfortably for what it's worth and I stay out of trouble. I handle my business well and don't get mixed up in my dad's world. I know he wants someone to pass it down to, maybe he's hoping I'll take the reigns and finally wear the cut.

As of late, I've been doing deals with blazers and trousers, looking more like an accountant than an owner. The guys stay with me for the most part, but this charter wasn't meant to have longevity. It was made to prove a point by my father and JT. Setting them up with legit business and partners that wouldn't put them at odds with the IRA.

I've been doing the best I can with the reigns, but no one seems to understand that handing this club over to Samcro would just taint it. Why would I had over a good thing just to have them taint it in the name of brotherhood? To have Clay Morrow have his hands on my list of clientele, while I slip away into the back as some former old lady is not going to fly. I have been the one making and closing deals, finding legit business for this club so these men could put food on their tables, I am the one who has been making decisions! The Sons have taken so much from me and I refuse to hand over anything else.