All I Know So Far

Chapter 33. King and Queen

Noella

I heard keys rustle in the door and I ran up to open it. I was relieved to see Jax holding Ava in his arms and I reached out for her. I couldn't help the flood of emotions I felt just holding her again. I was surprised to see Thomas with Jax because we only discussed taking Abel. Although Thomas was an adorable baby and I adored him, I had no intention of taking him from his mother. Thomas rightfully belonged to Tara, and he needed her in his primitive years.

"He's going to stay with us, she can see him when I say so," Jax walked past me with the baby and I couldn't help but see him in a new light. Jax had done a complete 180 in only a couple of hours. I could tell that his anger played a huge role in his actions, and I wondered if mine played on them as well. I went to go put Ava to bed, and then came back to see Jax cradling Thomas in the living room. I could tell that by the look on his face that he was visibly upset.

I sat down next to him and reached for Thomas, he handed him over while curling himself up next to me. I didn't know how to take Jax's new form of affection, so I only perceived as him needing a friend.
"Are you alright?" I asked hesitantly. A tear rolled down his cheek, "no." His voice came out weak and broken and I sympathized with him.

I turned around in my seat to face him and placed my forehead to his. "You've got this Jackson, I know you do," I ran my hand through his beard in an effort to calm him down. His breathing began to regulate and I hoped that he would take whatever strength I had left so that he can continue on through this dreadful day.

"Are you going to come tonight?" his eyes were still closed as he tossed the question in the air. I hadn't thought about going to the clubhouse, because I intended to stay out of this part of the club business. I was surprised that he even made the request. "Did you need me there?" I pulled my forehead from his and caressed his cheek.

His hand held onto the one on his face and he nodded slowly. "Yeah, I really need you there." I nodded and made arrangements for Ava's nanny, Patricia, to make a house call. I waited patiently for her arrival as I got Thomas in the bath, while Jax made him a bottle. Once she arrived, we were finally able to leave. However, when I made my way to my car I could see Jax laugh on the other side of the parking lot.

"What?" I said dumbfounded.

He cleared his throat and held out a second helmet. I rolled my eyes and dragged my feet over to the bike. I tried to hide my awkwardness with getting back on his bike because I hadn't been on the back of his bike in years; and while a part of it felt familiar, I still felt like an awkward teenager going out with the bad boy for the first time.

I swung my leg over the bike and situated myself. My hands initially started on Jax's shoulders, but then he purposely made a loud noise which caused me to hold on to him tighter. I knew he did it on purpose because of the look he had on his face. He was always such a booger when it came to women, but I chose not to chastise him considering the day we've had.

When we got to the clubhouse everyone was waiting around. Mila and Gemma were sitting at the bar as all of the guys went inside. I could tell that Mila was visibly nervous as Gemma looked like she might be sick. I understood both women. Gemma was losing her husband and Mila was upgrading to a new status. Opie wasn't just a member anymore; he was going to be the vice president. His position held more power and more threats. I wish I could say that going legit eliminated everything, but all it did was give way to jealousy and power-hungry monsters. But I knew we would be prepared when they came, and I think that Mila, even in her fear, knew that too.

"So, what happens to you now?" Gemma asked, her question directed at me. I didn't know how to answer her, so I remained silent but then she only egged me on. "You got two new kids to take care of, two baby mamas, and your husband is the president. Tell me, what will Noella Teller do next?"

I could tell by the sound of her voice that she was back on her old habits. In her mind, I had turned her family dynamic upside down and the Queen was beside herself.

I looked her up and down, "I don't know Gem, what would you do? I mean if Clay would have killed Tara you would have got the boys. Then you'd probably tell him about the letters I have for extra measure. I mean what could one more grandchild hurt?" My tone became sarcastic, "then you'd probably find some sorry, spineless woman to play mommy for your grandkids who tolerated your controlling a**."

Gemma sucked her teeth and looked me dead in the eye, "maybe, but something about you tells me that you wouldn't die that easily. Teller woman usually don't," she said the last part with a smile before she went ahead and swallowed her shot of bourbon.

"Something tells me I'm going to see you around a lot," I grimaced.

"Cheer up, at least one of us has to make sure that Thomas sees his mother. Because she does need to see her child."

"Can't agree more, unlike her I understand the importance of a mother's bond."

Gemma remained silent at that and allowed my words to sink in. She knew better not to test me. I wasn't Tara, I would tell Jax if she was being a nuisance, and I would handle her with the same force she used on me. I wasn't going to be pushed around by her or anyone else in this town. Her role as a grandmother was to spoil not raise. She wasn't going to undermine my role as a mother.

It was getting late and I knew that Patricia had to go soon, so I walked over to the door and started to knock. Regardless of Gemma's protest, I could hear Jax on the other side permitting me to come in. Mila followed after me and was welcomed by Ope at the table.

Jax reached his hand out for me and I obliged to meet him where he sat. He looked powerful at the head of the table, he looked like he belonged there. He placed my hand over his shoulder and we stood there as everyone took in the direction that this club was heading. I could see Gemma's face contort as she remembered something or someone familiar as she stared at me and Jax.

Jax was king, and I, in that moment, was his queen. Despite our relationship or lack thereof, this fact was true.