All I Know So Far

Chapter 25. Photos

Gemma

I put Ava down for bed after reading her three of her most prized books. We chose three because she couldn't pick which one she really wanted to hear. I entertained her, after all, when was I going to get more moments like these? She was such a sweet little girl with a big personality. She loved to sing and dance, and she was so considerate. I had gone to the bathroom and instead of invading my privacy, I found her on her bed singing a song to pass the time.

I smiled to myself as I tucked her in. She had an adorable night light that held a photo of her, Abel, and Thomas. They were smiling all big and bright, and I recognized the background to be from the daycare at the hospital. I had to give Noella credit when it came to making sure that Ava accepted her brothers, she was not standing in the way of any relationship that they had formed. And for that, I was truly appreciative.

Ava had shared with me earlier that she wanted her birthday party to be Christmas-themed because it was her favorite holiday. She mentioned how her mom and grandpa would take her to see all the Christmas lights, and she loved putting the ornaments on the tree. She would pick out a toy to give a kid on the angel tree, and she liked that she had her mommy all to herself that day. I encouraged her to tell ask her mom, and she was delighted to know how much more people would be there since she got more family.

I could feel the strings of my heart wrap around the child, and I almost got upset thinking about how much time I had missed from her life. I flipped through photo albums that Noella had, while I sipped on some coffee I had made in the kitchen. Ava was such a gorgeous little girl, oh, and the full head of hair! She was probably more hair than baby with her drooling smiles. I had taken my favorite one out of the photo album and slipped it into my purse for safekeeping. Alright, maybe I took more than one for safekeeping. In my defense, Noella wasn't exactly sending these in postcards.

I had finished flipping through the photo album when I became curious. I began to rummage through small drawers in each room, hoping that I would find the letters. But Noella was smart, she didn't leave anything valuable in sight. I came back into the living room and started to snoop around. I noticed a small box on the fireplace mantle and started to rummage through it.

There was nothing in it but old photos and I was surprised to see Noella have photos with Wendy. It was strange considering how much Noella hated Wendy back then. I looked through them some more and landed on a picture of someone I never thought I'd see again. Barry St. Vincent, otherwise known as Bear. Chills ran down my spine as I looked at the picture. Even in this picture, I could see the crazy in his eyes.

Barry was obsessed with me back in the day. The feelings were definitely not reciprocated, and I think me going with Clay instead of him sent him on edge. He never liked John, or anything about him really. He always said John was a weak man with a chip on his shoulder. Sasha couldn't stand Barry and I always overheard her persuading Dice to cut him loose.

After John died, Bear knew that I played a role. He always said that when I was near him he could always hear the secrets I knew. He told me he'd keep it our little secret if I could get Clay to hire Antonio's crew for an inside job. Clay instantly told Barry to screw himself since the Sons were also at odds with the small rival gang. We ended up losing contact with the Alchemists, and I thought that was the last I would hear from Barry. But then when Sasha died, and so brutally, I knew that he played a role.

Sasha was a lot of things, but oblivious was never one of them. She was a true Old Lady at heart and would die for the safety of her family. I never got any proof that Barry was the one behind Sasha's death, but I always had a feeling. I pressed Clay to reach out to Dice, but then after that whole incident, Dice became more like a myth. He disappeared off the face of the planet. He was like a ghost, you heard about him but you never saw him.

I heard keys jingling on the other side of the door and I hurriedly put the box back where I found it. I wasn't expecting to see my Jackson when the door opened. He was surprised to see me too it seemed considering the look on his face. "Oh, hey mom," he said casually.

"Hey baby," I said as he planted a kiss on my cheek. It was considerably late for a house call, so I was curious as to why my son was here. "Don't get any ideas, I just came to say goodnight to Ava. I saw Nelly at Lyla's opening and she told me you were watching Ava."

"Are you surprised?" I said smirking.

"Yeah, never thought I'd see the day when you two were getting along," he admitted.

"Baby steps, Ava is in the room sleeping. But here," I said handing him a photo of baby Ava. He closed his eyes in frustration, "mom," he began.

"Ah-ah, Jackson, take the photo. She is your daughter too," I tucked the photo in the pocket of his flannel and patted it.

"So, what were you doing in here? Other than being a photo thief," he said in amusement.

"I was just peeking through some photo albums."

"Peeking huh?" he reached for an album I hadn't looked through. It must have been Noella's pregnancy album because it followed her with every trimester. I could see Jax become entranced as he flipped through the photos. His face held some regret and longing as he dove deeper and deeper until he landed on the last photo. It was glued to the back and had to be professionally done. Noella was sitting on a chair with a silk blouse, not one button was done as she revealed not only her bump but the voluptuous sides of her breast. She wore lacey, black panties, and nothing on her pedicured feet. I could see Jax's face burn red with embarrassment as his eyes trailed over her big dark curls, to the tattoo on her thigh.

"Um," he cleared his throat, "that's enough of that." He slammed the photo album shut and pushed it as far as the coffee table allowed. It took him a minute to regain himself as his mind raced to change the subject.

"What's going on?" I asked.

"Tara is going to head up to Oregon tomorrow, she's going to take the boys up there with her."

"Why do they need to go," I said feeling a bit possessive.

"She's their mother," he stated plainly.

I gave him a look, "what about Ava?"

"I told Nelly I would take Ava with us so that she could at least spend some time with them."

"For how long?"

"I'm supposed to bring Ava back with me, but I'm not sure how long Tara wants to stay up there with the boys."

"What are you doing Jackson? Your daughter's birthday is just around the corner, she needs her brothers there."

"Look if Nelly wants to bring Ava back up to Oregon to spend time with them, she can. But I'm going to get my boys clear of headless bodies."

"I started to shake my head, "you can't do that. Does Noella know what you're really planning?"

"Mom, I will speak to Noella when the timing is right, but she knows just as good as I do what this life entails. I just need us to get past this cartel sh**. Tara is just doing what's right for her family, I'm sure that even Nelly could understand that."

I remained silent as his words sank in. I couldn't say that I wasn't angry or feeling lost. Here I was coming from spending a beautiful moment with my grandbaby to hearing my son say that they're going to take my kids away from me.